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  • A funny story

    Philippine Daily Inquirer
    August 28, 2004

    A FUNNY STORY

    by Bambi L. Harper


    THIS is not funny in the sense of being comic but funny as far as it
    shows the quirks in human behavior that make the study of human
    beings in action an interesting pastime. Many of these stories would
    certainly make entertaining movies as well. John Foreman in his book
    "The Philippine Islands," has many of them and would-be story-tellers
    and scriptwriters are encouraged to read them for inspiration.

    Some time early in the 18th century, a ship captained by an Armenian
    arrived in Manila from India bearing a young man who called himself
    Monsignor Charles Thomas Maillard de Tournon. He claimed to be the
    visitor-general, bishop of Savoy, patriarch of Antioch, apostolic
    nuncio and legate ad latere of the pope. As you can see, people have
    a thing about titles (this is as true now as it was then, otherwise
    why would they get a kick out of being addressed as "Your Honor" or
    "Excellency" and so on?). Anyway, Cardinal Tournon (at some point he
    must have been named so because he's listed as such in the Index of
    Blair and Robertson) claimed he was on his way to China to visit the
    missions together with eight priests and four Italian families and
    took a side trip to see how we were getting along. (The ramifications
    of the China story are in themselves fascinating because it seems the
    Jesuits were at first allowed to use Chinese rituals in Catholic
    rites but this was later disallowed by Rome as being idolatrous.
    Tournon had been sent to look into the matter.)

    It was the practice in those days to place guards on foreign vessels,
    perhaps for security reasons, by the custodian of the Fort of Cavite.
    The act infuriated the stranger who insisted on a verbal message
    being taken to Governor-General Domingo Zabalburu announcing his
    arrival. Whatever powers of intimidation the legate had were enough
    to send the custodian scurrying to Manila to convey the message to
    the governor-general, who forthwith instructed the custodian to
    accompany the stranger.

    Tournon was greeted with cannon salutes from the plaza although he
    still hadn't shown any of his credentials. In Manila, he took up
    residence in the house of the maestre de campo, Bernardo de Endaya,
    where the governor went to visit him, although there was a question
    about his papal credentials since no one had as yet seen them.

    A commissioner was sent to request royal confirmation of his powers
    and his papal credentials. Again the visitor got on his high horse
    and waxed indignant that his position was being doubted and promptly
    threw the commissioner out. Incredibly, neither the archbishop of
    Manila nor the governor-general stood up to him. As a matter of fact,
    the archbishop was ordered to set aside his archiepiscopal cross
    while Cardinal Tournon used his own in religious ceremonies and left
    it in the cathedral when he departed. Part of the official robes and
    insignia of the archbishop were taken from him as well, and with his
    consent at that. The chief authorities of the country paid Tournon
    their respects while he, on the other hand, never returned their
    gesture. It turned out that he was really Poe Clement XI's legate and
    not an impostor, just a pain.

    However, he was nice to the maestre de campo, who was under
    ecclesiastical house arrest at the time even if the former did spend
    $ 20,000 getting on the good side of the man. Cardinal Tournon got
    the archbishop and the governor to pardon the man and asked that the
    pardon be proclaimed publicly. He also managed to have the Armenian
    captain made a knight of the Golden Spur in a ceremony at the
    maestre's house in ceremonies to which the governor-general wasn't
    even invited.

    Finally, Tournon left for China where his highhandedness had little
    effect on the Chinese who after all weren't Catholic and couldn't be
    intimidated with threats. Not only did his imperious ways get the
    missionaries into trouble, but he was also thrown in jail by the
    Chinese courts. The emperor, just as imperious if not more, then
    booted him out of the country.

    Tournon then made his way to Macao where he spent the time quarreling
    with the missionaries and finally died in 1710 in the Inquisition
    prison, having met his match when he tangled with the Jesuits.

    Zabalburu got it in the neck when the king found out what had
    happened in Manila. The governor-general was declared disqualified
    for life to serve after having proved his incompetence while the
    senior magistrates were removed from office. Each priest who had not
    taken cognizance of regium exequatur had to pay a fine of $ 1,000.
    The archbishop was degraded and sent to Guadalajara but continued to
    intrigue and connive with Tournon, sending him $ 1,000 from Mexico
    and promising him a fixed sum of $ 1,000 per annum for whatever
    support he could give him.

    Finally, the king in exasperation issued an edict to the effect that
    any legate who arrived in his domains without royal confirmation of
    his credentials was to be treated civilly but afforded no special
    treatment. Every year the edict was to be read in full on certain
    days before all the civil and ecclesiastical officials in case they
    forgot and another papal Legate got them into another pickle.

    As you can see, the struggle between Church and State has a long and
    noble history with various footnotes in between.
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