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  • ASBAREZ Online [05-13-2005]

    ASBAREZ ONLINE
    TOP STORIES
    05/16/2005
    TO ACCESS PREVIOUS ASBAREZ ONLINE EDITIONS PLEASE VISIT OUR
    WEBSITE AT <http://www.asbarez.com/>HTTP://WWW.ASBAREZ.COM

    1) Mass Rally in Lebanon in Opposition to Electoral Law
    2) Erdogan, Kocharian Expected to Meet at European Summit
    3) Kocharian to Attend Summit on European Values and Challenges
    4) Armenia Stands Ready to Fund Projects for Georgian Armenians
    5) His Holiness Aram I Begins Official Visit to Iran
    6) HED Thousands Fooled in Web Scam
    7) Arizona Armenians Display Strong Support For ANCA
    8) Glendale Ghapan Sister City Association to Send Medical
    Delegation to Armenia
    9) Armenian Moms and Daughters Make an Impact
    10) Confessions of an Angry Armenian: Part 2
    11) GEORGIANS, BUSH, SPAM, & OTHER ANNOYING THINGS

    1) Mass Rally in Lebanon in Opposition to Electoral Law

    BEIRUT (Aztagdaily/Reuters)--As the first round of elections approaches on May
    29, thousands gathered in the center of Bourj Hammoud on Thursday to demand
    that Lebanon's Armenian community is justly represented in the country's
    parliament. Armenians and other minorities have consistently called for
    reforming the existing 2000 electoral law that does not allow for equal
    representation.
    Addressing the crowd, Hratch Varjabedian stressed that adherence to
    democratic
    principles is the first step in ensuring not only mass voting, but also that
    the population is justly represented in parliament. ARF Central Committee
    member Hovhanness Taslakian, speaking in Arabic, said that the 2000
    law--because of its failure to properly grant representation to Lebanon's
    Christian communities, especially the Armenian community--must be reformed.
    "If justice is not restored and the Armenian people do not gain what they
    justly deserve, then this gathering will be the first of many steps to
    follow,"
    said ARF CC member Hovig Bertizlian. "The ARF has exhausted efforts to reform
    the 2000 electoral law so as to amend certain constituencies, but it appears
    that that law will stand."
    The upcoming ballot will be the first without a direct Syrian presence in
    Lebanon in 33 years and most Christians strongly object to the law.
    Christian leaders, from top officials loyal to Syria to vehemently
    anti-Damascus bishops, have slammed the electoral law, designed in 2000 to
    help
    Damascus allies win seats in the chamber they now dominate.
    But with Syria ending its 29-year military and intelligence presence last
    month, Christian loyalists have turned against the law, which carves the
    country into a mixture of smaller and larger electoral districts.
    The Taif Accord which ended the 1975-1990 civil war that split Lebanon into
    Christian and Muslim enclaves, divides parliament's 128 seats in half between
    Muslims and Christians, whatever the rules.
    Christians warn the 2000 law would upset the country's delicate sectarian
    balance by drowning out Christian voices in large voting districts
    dominated by
    Muslims.


    2) Erdogan, Kocharian Expected to Meet at European Summit

    (AP)--Leaders of neighbors Turkey and Armenia are expected to meet for rare
    talks at a summit next week, a news agency said Friday.
    Turkey's Anatolia news agency said Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip
    Erdogan
    and President Robert Kocharian were expected to meet on the sidelines of a
    Council of Europe summit scheduled for Monday and Tuesday in Warsaw. The date
    of the meeting was not specified.
    Turkish and Armenian officials could not immediately confirm the report.
    However, Council of Europe spokesman Can Fisek said there were "strong
    indications" the leaders would meet.
    The talks are widely expected to focus on efforts to promote dialogue between
    the two countries, which do not have diplomatic relations. Erdogan has
    indicated the countries might establish political ties if Armenia agreed to
    join a joint commission to investigate the killings. Armenia says it is ready
    to re-establish relations with Turkey, but without any preconditions.


    3) Kocharian to Attend Summit on European Values and Challenges

    YEREVAN (Armenpress)--President Robert Kocharian will be in Warsaw on May
    15 to
    participate in a Council of Europe summit, as well as hold several meetings
    with his counterparts. A meeting with Azeri president Ilham Aliyev is
    reportedly expected, though not confirmed.
    For the first time in history, the Heads of State and Government of 46
    European democracies will meet in the Royal Castle of Warsaw on May 16-17 for
    the Summit of European Unity, to reaffirm the core values on which Europe is
    built, define the political mandate of the Council of Europe, and chart its
    action for the coming years.
    The principal tasks of the Council of Europe will be determined during three
    sessions: European Unity and Values, Challenges for European Society, and
    European Architecture.
    At the first plenary session on May 16, the Council of Europe member states
    will renew their commitment to the Council's common values and principles
    --above all, democracy, human rights and the rule of law--throughout the
    continent. Priority will be given to the ensuring of the continued
    effectiveness of the European Convention on Human Rights, the Council's unique
    human rights protection mechanism.
    The second session will concentrate on concerted action in response to new
    threats to the security of European citizens, such as terrorism, corruption
    and
    organized crime as well as trafficking in human beings. On this occasion,
    three
    new Council of Europe conventions--on the prevention and financing of
    terrorism
    and on trafficking in human beings--will be opened for signature. The session
    will also address questions related to the building of a more humane and
    inclusive Europe--such as social cohesion, protection of children, political
    participation, the promoting of cultural diversity, and the fostering of
    intercultural dialogue.
    The final plenary session on May 17 will focus on ensuring cooperation of the
    Council of Europe and other European partner organizations.
    Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski will give the opening speech on May
    16.


    4) Armenia Stands Ready to Fund Projects for Georgian
    Armenians

    YEREVAN (Armenpress)--Prime Minister Andranik Margarian reaffirmed on May 12
    Armenia's readiness to help repair roads in the southern Georgian province of
    Javakhk, populated mainly by ethnic Armenians.
    Speaking to a news conference, he said the Armenian budget has
    predetermined--for the third consecutive year--allocation of funds for
    Georgian
    Armenians, which will go to an Armenian theater in Tbilisi, repair of Armenian
    schools, and publication of an Armenian language newspaper.
    Margarian said an arrangement had been reached with late Georgian Prime
    Minister Zurab Zhvania that Armenia would participate in financing projects
    addressing the needs of Georgian Armenians, but added that the Georgian
    government has not yet approved a plan of action designed for
    Armenian-populated regions. "Once they have this plan approved, Armenia will
    move quickly to support and fund it," Margarian said.


    5) His Holiness Aram I Begins Official Visit to Iran

    TEHRAN (Armenpress)--Responding to an invitation of the three Dioceses of
    Iran,
    His Holiness Aram I traveled on an official visit to Tehran on May 11. His
    two-week visit, from May 12-25, will include meetings with the public,
    religious services, celebrations on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of
    his
    enthronement, and the 75th anniversary of the establishment of the Seminary.
    This is the third visit of His Holiness to the Islamic Republic of Iran as
    the
    Catholicos of Cilicia. His Holiness has received a warm welcome by the Iranian
    government during his previous visits to the republic. During his visit, the
    Catholicos will have meetings with the president of the republic, Mohammed
    Khatami, the spiritual leader of the country, and senior government officials.
    On May 12, Aram I addressed the faithful with a church service and a prayer.


    6) Thousands Fooled in Web Scam

    Baseless Genocide Recognition Poll Site Forwarded Globally

    By Jenny Kiljian

    On Thursday, May 5, a Web site polling visitors about whether they believe
    the
    Armenian genocide should be recognized surfaced on the Internet and the link
    began making its rounds to the inboxes of hundreds of thousands throughout the
    world.
    Often accompanied by urgent, frantic missives such as "The Turkish community
    is distributing this link to get 'no' votes, please go and vote 'yes,'" the
    Web
    site received more than 228,000 hits within three days.
    By Monday, May 9, the site was unavailable because the host server could not
    handle the overwhelming number of visitors. Asbed Kassis, a
    California-based IT
    consultant, researched what he called "the bogus poll" and discovered that the
    person or group of people who built the site are based in Virginia, and were
    using the telephone service provider Cogent Company to access the Internet.
    The
    site was built and hosted using Network54, which allows users to create and
    participate in free forums, chat rooms and what are known in Web parlance as
    voteletseasily generated survey and poll pages.
    One visitor observed the poll about the Armenian genocide for 15 minutes and
    he, too, said it was ludicrous. Jirayr Beugekian, IT manager for the Hairenik
    Association, said that while the 'yes' votes changed with each individual
    click, the 'no' votes remained largely static, jumping in periodic increments
    of 300 at a time. This signaled to him that the person hosting the site was
    manipulating the 'no' vote by hand, simply to make the poll appear credible.
    The 'yes' clicks were not all unique, however, as thousands were informed
    through further emails that a visitor could delete 'cookies' from a computer
    and return to the site to vote 'yes' multiple times, according to Beugekian.
    Cookies are short pieces of data used by web servers to help identify web
    users. They don't damage files or systems, and are only used to identify users
    and track browsing habits.
    While sites such as this might seem innocuous, both Kassis and Beugekian
    advised people to be more careful about where they point their browsers. This
    Web site, like many others, contained Google-sponsored advertisements and
    search results at the top of the page. Each time a person visited the site,
    the
    person hosting it earned a commission from the hugely popular search engine.
    "Several IT people have confirmed that the person was making money from the
    poll," said Kassis. "Since huge numbers of Armenians and others flocked to the
    site, he or she got this high rating for traffic. The way the person made
    money
    was by getting a percentage of the amount charged for the advertisers per
    click."
    While this site contained visible advertisements, similar scam Web sites,
    explained Kassis, will embed pop-up-generating codes into nearly every link on
    the site. A visitor might simply close the pop-up, not thinking of it as more
    than the occasional nuisance that comes part and parcel with surfing the World
    Wide Web. What these people don't realize, Kassis said, is that they're not
    only polluting their computer, but their clicks are generating revenue for the
    host.
    A person could build a Web site and place numerous advertisements on the
    pages, each netting him or her anywhere from a penny to 30 cents, or even
    more,
    per visitor or click, explained Beugekian.
    By the time the poll site became unavailable on Monday, the person hosting it
    could have made anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000 through the clicks of
    visitors. Although it is unclear whether the user simply deleted the page or
    Network54 took the site down, Kassis said that people should send
    complaints to
    the host companies when they see such questionable sites. "The best way to get
    trash like this off the host is to email Network54 with complaints. I've seen
    this to work 90 percent of the time," he said.
    The Armenian National Committee of America (ANCA) sent a letter to the site
    expressing the organization's concern over the host being used to campaign
    against Genocide recognition.
    "This abuse of your Web sitemuch like similar efforts by Holocaust
    deniersaims
    to create doubt about historical realities," wrote ANCA executive director
    Aram
    Hamparian. "Sadly, we still have among us those who, for their narrow
    interests, seek to sow hatred and confusion about the Holocaust, the African
    slave trade, the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, the
    genocide in Rwanda, and many other facts of history. It is up to all people of
    good conscience to reject hate and to not provide a platform to its
    purveyors."
    Many others, while displeased that Genocide denial has been furthered through
    technology, were less sympathetic to the exponential number of people who
    visited the site and forwarded the link to hundreds of others in their
    respective address books.
    "I can't believe Armenians would fall for this, and jump to it as if all our
    future existence depends on it. We have become so very limited with our
    Genocide past," said Katia Peltekian. "There is nothing on the page about what
    the purpose of this poll is, who is collecting the votes, for whom this voting
    is being done, who is going to use this poll. The 'no' votes make no move
    while
    the 'yes' votes have jumped tremendously from almost zero to above sixty-one
    percent since [Friday, May 6], when Armenians in a panic began forwarding this
    message left, right and center."
    Nyree Derderian of California saved each email that was sent to her. In all,
    she said, she received the link 142 times.
    "There are new kinds of predators out there in this new world," said Tatul
    Sonentz-Papazian. He received the link to the site, but said he summarily
    deleted it. "People are gullible, and they shouldn't be so gullible. They
    become tools in the hands of those scam artistspeople are falling for it, and
    it's ridiculous."

    Jenny Kiljian is the editor of The Armenian Weekly.


    7) Arizona Armenians Display Strong Support For ANCA

    --ANCA Chairman Ken Hachikian and Board Member Raffi Hamparian Update
    Community
    on Nationwide Hai Tahd Efforts

    PHOENIX--The Armenian American community of the Grand Canyon State of Arizona
    displayed its pride and full support for the Armenian National Committee of
    America (ANCA) at a fundraising reception held on May 7. The gathering in
    Phoenix, organized by the Armenian National Committee of Arizona (ANC-AZ),
    drew
    a broad cross section of community members who donated their hard earned
    dollars to strengthen the advocacy efforts of the ANCA in Washington, DC.
    Event
    sponsors included longtime and well-respected Phoenix residents Mr. & Mrs.
    Greg
    and Emma Melikian and their extended family.
    The featured speakers at the reception were ANCA Chairman Ken Hachikian and
    ANCA Board Member Raffi Hamparian. Hachikian expressed the organization's
    appreciation for the warm welcome he received in Phoenix.
    "The ANCA derives its strength from each of you--our grassroots," Hachikian
    remarked. "Your activism here in Phoenix is part of a dynamic equation that
    makes the ANCA a powerful voice for our community in Congress. Simply put, we
    could not achieve our many successes without you," he emphasized.
    Following ANCA Chairman Hachikian's remarks, a video of the organization's
    ANCA Capital Gateway Program was shown. The video documents an ANCA initiative
    launched two years ago that brings Armenian American college graduates from
    around the nation to Washington, DC, pays for their housing, and helps them
    find public policy jobs, including jobs on Capitol Hill with Members of
    Congress. The ANCA Capital Gateway Program has placed over 20 candidates thus
    far.
    "The State of Arizona is home to a number of very important public officials,
    including Senator and potential 2008 Presidential candidate John McCain and
    Congressman Jim Kolbe, who chairs the Congressional committee that
    appropriates
    US foreign aid to Armenia," stated ANC-AZ Chairman, Yeprem Tchaylian. "I am
    very proud that the Arizona ANC can lead the way in educating the growing
    Armenian American community about the importance of being involved in the
    civic
    and political affairs of our state," added Tchaylian.
    On Sunday, May 8, Raffi Hamparian, who also serves on the ANCA Western Region
    (WR) Board of Directors, led a training workshop with ANC-AZ leaders,
    including
    Tchaylian, and dedicated activists Yervant Baltajian, Zarouhi Baltajian, Anto
    Nazikian, and Anto Tchaylian, as part of the ANCA-WR's ongoing effort to
    assist
    local ANC chapters in developing strategies and planning initiatives to reach
    out to local, state, and federal government officials. The workshop built on a
    similar seminar held last year in Arizona by former ANCA-WR Executive Director
    Ardashes Kassakhian.
    "The Arizona ANC is a bright, up and coming star within our organization,"
    commented Raffi Hamparian. "I look forward to seeing the results of these
    efforts in growing communities across the country," noted Hamparian.


    8) Glendale Ghapan Sister City Association to Send Medical Delegation to
    Armenia

    GLENDALE--The Glendale Ghapan Sister City Association (GGSCA) has organized a
    delegation of medical experts and professionals to visit Armenia in September
    to promote a better understanding of the country's history, people, and
    culture
    among Glendale's medical community, and to familiarize Armenia's health
    administrators and professionals with the American healthcare system model.
    The delegation includes Hon. Larry Zarian, Governing Board Member of Glendale
    Adventist Hospital and former Glendale City Councilmember; Scott Reiner, Chief
    Executive Officer of Glendale Adventist Hospital; Carl Ermshar, the hospital's
    Chief of Staff; Dr. Alber Karamanoukian, a Glendale-based physician; and
    representatives of GGSCA.
    "We are very excited about our upcoming delegation to Armenia," said Artin
    Manoukian, President of GGSCA. "Both the delegation, as well as the medical
    community in Armenia, will learn a great deal from this exchange, and as a
    result will be able to provide a higher quality of care to their patients in
    the long run."
    The delegation will travel to Yerevan and Ghapan where they will visit
    medical
    institutions, as well as meet with various medical professionals, government
    officials, and health administrators. They will also visit historical and
    cultural sites throughout the two cities.
    "Because of Glendale's large Armenian population, the City's medical
    community
    provides care to thousands of Armenians," said Larry Zarian, Governing Board
    Member of Glendale Adventist Hospital. "Through exchanges such as this
    delegation, our health providers can become more familiar with the culture and
    history of the people they serve."
    The non-profit organization was founded in 2001 to foster relations, as well
    as cultural and economic cooperation between Glendale, California and Ghapan,
    Armenia.


    9) Armenian Moms and Daughters Make an Impact

    By Adriana Tchalian

    Over 60,000 men, women, and children gathered at the Los Angeles Memorial
    Coliseum on Saturday, May 7--Mother's Day weekend--for the annual Revlon
    Run/Walk for Women. The event represents the nation's largest 5K fundraiser,
    which has so far raised over 30 million dollars for women's cancer research.
    One of the largest groups participating this year was Team #813--Armenian
    Moms
    and Daughters--whose efforts, led by co-captains Alice Chakrian and Eileen
    Keusseyan, helped raise almost six thousand dollars. According to team member
    Shake' Tokatlian, "One hundred and sixty seven Armenian men, women and
    children
    were registered to walk in this year's event." She, along with her
    daughter-in-law, Caroline Tokatlian, was among many first-time participants in
    what has become an annual Armenian tradition.
    Created by the Entertainment Industry Foundation, Lilly Tartikoff, Ronald O.
    Perelman, and The Davis Group, the day-long event also included a Health Expo
    and Celebration Concert and featured celebrities such as Halle Berry, Marcia
    Cross, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
    Lucy Gulvartian--whose teenage daughter, Lar, was also amongst this year's
    participantsexplained, "a small group of us, headed by Alice and Eileen, began
    walking some three years ago in support of women whose lives have been
    affected
    by cancer. The number of participants kept growing every year, and now we're a
    community-wide movement." Tokatlian added, "This team of women is not only
    helping to raise funds, but also consciousness about women's health, a subject
    long overlooked by researchers and the public alike."
    For more information about Armenian Moms and Daughters, or to make a
    donation,
    visit www.revlonrunwalk.com (Team #813) or call 310-393-6344.


    10) Confessions of an Angry Armenian: Part 2

    Recognition is about Honesty, Justice is about Remorse

    By George Aghjayan

    As acceptance of the historical fact of the Armenian genocide becomes
    prevalent in Turkish society, there has been a similar movement to label such
    acknowledgements as extraordinary. Some, such as David Phillips and other
    members of TARC, go so far as to take credit for the movement, as if the
    last 5
    years of rapid change in the Armenian struggle for justice can be viewed
    separately from the previous 85 years or the Armenian Cause separately from a
    growing human rights movement in Turkey.
    So often, we characterize Turkish denial as born from ignorance, when in fact
    it is born from a common agenda with the perpetrators of the crime. In that
    context, acknowledgement of the Armenian genocide--whether by a Turkish
    citizen
    or by a United States President--is about honesty regarding the facts of
    history. Those that deny are dishonest and ill-suited as a party to dialogue.
    While we can acknowledge the extraordinary bravery of those who risk criminal
    prosecution and imprisonment to acknowledge the Armenian genocide within the
    Republic of Turkey, we must not confuse this as a triumph of the Armenian
    Cause. Instead, we must recognize it for what it is--simple honesty.
    Acknowledgement is the ticket to the table of reconciliation, nothing more.
    Justice is the necessary next stage as it indicates not only an
    acknowledgement, but also an understanding of the magnitude and wrongness of
    the crime, as well as a sense of remorse.
    Recognition of a crime is not enough to show an acceptance for it being
    wrong.
    In fact, recognizing the crime committed and the gains obtained without
    penalty
    encourages similar criminal acts. Thus, we can begin to understand why justice
    for the Armenian genocide has relevance today and extends beyond the Armenian
    community.
    Over the course of events this year commemorating the 90th anniversary of the
    Armenian genocide, it was continually mentioned that recognition was necessary
    so that genocide would not happen again. This claim makes little sense as
    stated. Recognition without justice will guarantee genocide will happen again.
    There are a number of arguments against justice being presented by some in
    the
    community, beyond the ignominious ICTJ report of TARC. The reason for such
    views depends on the source. There are those that simply adhere to the agenda
    of the US State Department, others are naïve, while still others overlook the
    needs of humanity for their own selfish interests.
    Regardless of the reason for the challenge, those who fully understand the
    necessity for justice must respond. The following are arguments being
    presented
    along with what I feel are appropriate responses. They are not meant to be
    exhaustive, but they do represent my feelings on the matter.
    "I do not want money nor do I plan on living on any land that is returned to
    the Armenians." This argument has two very different aspects to it. In the
    first case, one may feel this way because the crime of the Armenian
    genocide is
    so great that no money or land can truly compensate for the loss. While it is
    true that there can be no perfect compensation for the loss the Armenian
    people
    suffered--a loss so great that this small article cannot begin to expose--this
    should not preclude any justice. My explanation above should suffice as
    justification for more than just acknowledgement of the crime. We would not
    accept acknowledgement alone for the smallest of crimes, why then should we
    accept it for the greatest crime against humanity, genocide.
    Going further, this claim for recognition alone meets with some measure of
    acceptance because once the denial ends, the Genocide itself will end for many
    people. That is not to say that there is resolution, but simply that when we
    are subjected to genocide denial we become victims and are one with the
    victims
    of 90 years ago. Denial causes us pain and the deniers understand and embrace
    that pain in the same way the perpetrators did some 90 years ago. Recognition
    is expected to end the pain denial causes today.
    However, we, as victims of genocide, have a responsibility to fight for more
    than just recognition. In addition, while acknowledgement by the Turkish
    government may marginalize denial, it will not end it. One only need look at
    the proliferation of Holocaust denial as an example.
    Another aspect to consider is the unabashed selfishness of such a view.
    While
    the descendents of the remnants of the Armenian nation fortunate enough to
    have
    come to the United States may have reached some level of affluence and rarely
    fear ethnic based prejudice, that does not necessarily hold for all diaspora
    Armenians nor even Armenians in Armenia.
    Restitution of land and reparations could meaningfully assist in the
    perpetuation of the Armenian nation--the destruction of which was the stated
    objective of the crime. To view restitution of land and reparations solely in
    the context of the individual is the height of selfishness.
    Another common theme is that calls for justice hinder Turkey's ability to
    recognize the Armenian genocide. It may be of interest to note that this same
    argument has been used to blame the resolution of Jewish claims against Swiss,
    German, French and Austrian banks for the recent rise in anti-Semitism.
    It is inconceivable to me that such perverse logic is taken as reasonable.
    The
    perpetrator of a crime is being requested by the victim group (and others) to
    partially atone for the crime and the resultant prejudice is seen as
    reasonable. Once again, Armenians are placed in the position of emasculating
    themselves in order to achieve the crumbs of human rights that everybody else
    considers basic.
    This is the epitome of a slave mentality. For centuries, Armenians have lived
    as second-class citizens; so much so that we accept in regards to the Armenian
    genocide something that would be absurd in any other aspect of our lives.
    Closely related is the notion that today's Turk is not responsible for the
    crime of the Armenian genocide and, thus, cannot be held accountable. Beyond
    the consideration that denial is the final stage of genocide and, thus, the
    crime continues to this very day as a result, there is also the aspect that
    genocide is a state crime and the current Turkish state is the successor of
    that which began the crime over 90 years ago.
    In addition, one need only read current news accounts as validation of the
    continuing nature of the Armenian genocide. I have directly witnessed the
    destruction of Armenian cultural sites, the desecration of Armenian graves,
    and
    the outright falsification of our national history.
    It has been openly stated that the blockade of Armenia by Turkey is meant to
    create poverty of such a level so as to encourage immigration and, thus,
    create
    an Armenia empty of Armenians. In addition, the struggle over Artsakh
    cannot be
    viewed separately from the continuing nature of the Armenian genocide. Armenia
    without Armenians has always been the objective and the current Turkish
    government is just as culpable as that which ruled a century ago.
    Much has been made of the conclusion in the ICTJ report that Armenian
    genocide
    claims cannot be put forth under the UN Convention on the Prevention and
    Punishment of the Crime of Genocide. That is only the tip of a very large
    issue
    and ignores so much of the real need for justice, however imperfect that
    justice might be.

    11) GEORGIANS, BUSH, SPAM, & OTHER ANNOYING THINGS

    BY SKEPTIK SINIKIAN

    Just when you thought things could not possibly be stranger than they have
    been for the last five years of George W. Bush's presidency, we are treated to
    him shaking his "vorig" like a backup dancer for Britney Spears in a public
    square in Tbilisi, Georgia. If you've missed this piece of news footage--which
    ironically was immediately taken off of national and international airwaves in
    favor of a late breaking story of a two-seater Cessna airplane getting lost in
    Washington, DC airspace (Congress and Senate were immediately evacuated)--the
    President's gyrating hips were replaced with images of Senators and
    Congressman
    spilling out of the Capitol like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Who's wagging
    the dog now?
    As an American, I apologize to the Georgian people. I apologize to the
    Georgians, even though they are acting like ingrates by converting all of
    Georgia's historic Armenian churches to Georgian Orthodox. In spite of their
    malicious attempts to destroy Georgia's Armenian cultural heritage, I still
    feel compelled to apologize for my President's ridiculous Hawaiian hula shake
    which apparently was meant to resemble a traditional Georgian dance. Doesn't
    the President have a protocol attaché that accompanies him to places and
    explains cultural behavior and nuances beforehand? At least he didn't puke on
    Georgian President Saakashvili's lap during the state dinner like his father
    did in Japan. Although, I've heard that puking in someone's lap is the second
    most popular way of thanking someone in Georgia--the most popular, of course,
    being the desecration of someone else's religious sites.
    When I first heard that the President was visiting Georgia, I thought there
    must have been a huge mistake. His staff told him he was headed to Georgia and
    "Dubya" thought he was headed to Atlanta and not Tbilisi. The highlight for me
    was the look on Laura Bush's face as her husband was dancing. It was that same
    humiliated look my ex-girlfriend used to get anytime I would try to sing in
    public. Speaking of other embarrassments, if you sent out an email last week
    asking friends and family to vote in a poll on a website to recognize the
    Genocide, hang your head in shame. At last count, I have received about 30
    emails from different people, all of them urging me to go on some website and
    vote on the following question--"Should the Turkish Government Recognize the
    Armenian Genocide?"
    I actually logged on to the site out of mere curiosity. The results were not
    surprising. I saw that the breakdown was about 87% answering NO and only 4%
    were YES to this ridiculous question. I deleted the e-mail because the site
    did
    not look like a legitimate site and because there are better ways of pursuing
    Genocide recognition than through someone's homemade website. I also figured
    that the whole site was a scam set up by someone who was getting paid per
    click--a website marketing scheme still used by some internet companies. I
    hoped that most folks would see right through this online scam. But before I
    knew it, my mailbox was receiving 10 emails a day urging me to help the
    Armenian Cause by going to this site and voting on it multiple times and
    urging
    the Turks to recognize the Genocide. EVERY DAY! TEN E-MAILS! I believe
    this is
    the first ever recorded instance of Armenian Spam on the internet. SPAM is a
    term used to describe any unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature,
    sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups;
    junk e-mail. Before you know it, we'll all be receiving e-mails asking us
    if we
    want to refinance our home in Armenia, offering us cheap prescription drugs
    from Uzbekistan, of offering miracle drugs made of secret Caucasus mountain
    herbs which will help us either control our hair loss or lose weight or
    both if
    we want.
    I'm so frustrated with people who actually participated in this stupid online
    survey. I can't believe that there are folks out there who actually fell for
    this? What? It was on the Republic of Armenia's official diaspora page you
    say?
    Yes it was! Armenia's government even fell for this stupid scam. Thousands
    upon
    thousands voted for this stupid poll and I bet only a third of those who voted
    have ever actually called a member of Congress to urge them to raise levels of
    aid to Armenia, acknowledge the autonomy of Artsakh or reaffirm the facts of
    the Armenian genocide. This is the result of the internet, materialistic, mass
    consumer age we live in. It's the kind of age where if we want at least
    100,000
    Armenians to show up to a Genocide event, then we better start thinking of
    ways
    to build a Genocide memorial in Las Vegas, Nevada, right by Caesar's Palace,
    because I bet you more Armenians will go to Las Vegas on April 24 than to any
    community event!
    I better stop before the vein in my forehead bursts! Let's talk about more
    lighthearted topics. What better than coming full circle and ending our
    conversation with another Bush anecdote. You know, I'm glad George W. Bush won
    the Presidency. I don't know what I would have done without the Bush family's
    shenanigans to keep me entertained. I'm going to ask a "True or False"
    question
    and I'll let you guess the answer. Ready?
    True or False? After decades of being denied the right to vote, last week
    Kuwaiti women were finally granted suffrage by the Kuwaiti parliament.
    If you said true! Congratulations! ou're an idiot. If you said false!
    Congratulations! You get an "A+" in "Oppressive Arabic Societies and the
    Powerful US Leaders Who Support Them 101" Course. That's right! Kuwait--the
    country we sent 425,000 American troops to defend, and spent 71 billion
    dollars
    to save from Iraq--does not allow women the right to vote. Never has. Never
    will. In Saddam Hussein's Iraq, women were granted to right to vote back in
    1980.
    But wait! President Bush told us we, and the freedom loving nations of the
    world, had to push Saddam out of Kuwait to preserve and defend liberty and
    other American values! What if Saddam was actually in Kuwait to liberate the
    women? Impose Iraqi laws on the oppressive Kuwaiti regime? That could never
    happen. The Bush family would never lie to us. Saddam had weapons of mass
    destruction. I heard he also liked sleeping with farm animals and that he was
    an unrepentant fan of Adolph Hitler. Not like our buddies in Kuwait. Those
    wacky guys who last week voted to deny Kuwaiti women the right to vote because
    they argued that involvement in politics "would make them [women] neglect
    their
    families." Ah...the "Your place is in the kitchen argument!" Very sophisticated
    and so 17th century! It's nice to see Kuwait standing up for wholesome,
    antiquated Victorian values. What's next? Reintroducing the 18 hour work day
    for children between the ages of 9 15?
    Well, let's not start bashing the Kuwaitis just yet. Let's take a vote. All
    those who think we should still support Kuwait in spite of its oppressive
    policies raise your hand! Everyone's vote will count the same. Women in
    Kuwait
    are excluded. So are minorities in Ohio and Florida. I'll tell you the results
    next week.

    Skeptik Sinikian is currently making millions of dollars by forwarding e-mails
    sent to him by powerbrokers at Mikrosoft. For each email Skeptik forwards to
    someone, he receives 30 cents plus a lifetime supply of "You're an idiot"
    comments from friends. If you would like to learn more about this offer, email
    him at [email protected] or visit his blog at www.sinikian.blogspot.com.


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