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Joyous postscript to tales of goal famine and lost luggage

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  • Joyous postscript to tales of goal famine and lost luggage

    The Times, UK
    Sept 9 2005

    Joyous postscript to tales of goal famine and lost luggage
    By David McVay



    IT WAS rumours of a devastating flood that inspired Noah, so the
    story goes, to build his Ark on top of Mount Ararat, which borders
    Armenia and gazes down upon its capital, Yerevan. Below, in the
    country's national stadium one Saturday in late March two years ago,
    the topic of conversation was also of a drought, a goal drought to be
    precise. Rumours of it raining goals proved unfounded.
    In the press box that day, the blood appeared to be draining from
    Malcolm Brodie, the highly respected Irish journalist who has covered
    Northern Ireland for more than half a century. The great man's
    thermals could not prevent the cold of an Armenian spring afternoon
    creeping into every joint.

    To suggest that this was one of the more enjoyable occasions for a
    Northern Ireland correspondent might be a trifle misleading. But only
    a trifle. Reporting on Northern Ireland requires a specialist
    survival kit. A thick skin, for climate and criticism; fortitude and
    a strong constitution for the compulsory drowning of sorrows in Irish
    bars from Crete to Copenhagen; fake contact lenses with active
    centres to conceal the glazed look that engulfs the senses during
    extended periods of boredom, ie, 1,298 minutes without scoring a
    goal, and, of course, an optimism that might attract a visit from the
    men in white coats after four years without a victory in meaningful
    competition.

    In Yerevan in 2003, Sammy McIlroy's European Championship venture had
    already disintegrated when Artur Petrosyan scored a late winner to
    claim a rare win for the home team. However, it is far better to lose
    on a foreign field, bereft of a goal once more, than to surrender
    meekly at Windsor Park.

    One-nil to ten-man Canada; 2-0 to Greece and several nondescript
    goalless draws with Ukraine, Cyprus and the Magaluf Waiters XI
    gathering for an annual bash in Belfast.

    While many have suffered for the cause, so have the players. When
    McIlroy began the Euro 2004 campaign with a game away to Spain in
    October 2002, the squad, the fans and the press corps went to
    Valencia. Sadly, the training kit and some football boots headed for
    Madrid. Then Barcelona, before being reunited with their owners two
    days later.

    Even a victory over Malta in October 2001, the last occasion that the
    side had completed back-to-back wins was disrupted by turbulence,
    literally, on the return trip.

    So is it any wonder the green wig mops jigged and drank in the
    streets of Belfast into the small hours on Wednesday night after
    their team beat England at Windsor Park for the first time in 78
    years? Can you blame the likes of David Healy, the match-winner, for
    celebrating as if they had won the World Cup rather than secured
    fourth place in group six? Or the journalists who have witnessed the
    bad in Baku and the ugly in Ukraine for punching the air when Healy
    scored? `As a practising Christian I believe in David and Goliath and
    I was praying to God that that would happen and it did,' Stuart
    Elliott, the Hull City forward, said. The mouse roared indeed. The
    three lions trembled.
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