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It's all my parents' fault

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  • It's all my parents' fault

    Glendale News Press
    March 10 2006
    X-Sender: Asbed Bedrossian <[email protected]>
    X-Listprocessor-Version: 8.1 -- ListProcessor(tm) by CREN

    It's all my parents' fault
    PATRICK AZADIAN


    I had a discussion recently with an Armenian friend on the topic of
    why Armenians in Glendale are getting a not-so-good reputation.

    My friend left me with a thought: "Well, if the shoe fits, wear it."
    The remark was as much directed to me, as it was to herself.

    The irony is, neither of us contributes to the making of this
    infamous shoe.

    What's tainting the reputation of this community (food for future
    columns), goes against all the values my parents have tried to
    instill in me. And, I can't say this quickly enough, my family is not
    so unique.

    Most of my friends and extended family members subscribe to these
    values.

    The general theme of my family's value system has always revolved
    around honest work, importance of family, education and respect for
    others. There is also a strong sentiment against gaudiness,
    materialism and superficiality.

    I know I sound like a Republican presidential candidate, but I am not
    willing to wear a shoe that does not fit.

    The well-intentioned, and sometimes naïve, teachings of my parents
    and grandparents began at young age.

    I was probably only 6 when I was gifted a small white convertible toy
    Ford Thunderbird. My maternal grandfather walked in from work and saw
    me making imaginary noises while I pushed the American classic on the
    crimson-colored Persian carpet: "Vroom, Vroom," I said. He looked at
    the model car and responded: "What, a toy! Let's get you a book to
    read!"

    The man tried, and I resisted. It was not until I was 9 when I got a
    taste of reading. Harsh rural circumstances forced me into it.

    My family had temporarily relocated to a remote town for business
    opportunities; television sets were scarce. Children's magazines
    became my saviors from boredom.

    By the time the exile was over, I had enough interest in reading to
    hijack my aunts' glossy women's magazines. They paved the way to
    Albert Camus.

    Books: Good. Flashy cars: Not so important.

    My grandfather had planted the seed.

    Like many teenagers across America, I had a valid driver's license by
    age 17. I also harbored the illusion that I had some rights to our
    family's brand new Chevy Malibu (at the time it was a cool car if you
    lived in Sacramento) on the rare occasion I went out on a date.

    I made the mistake of asking a classmate out to the movies, assuming
    the metallic blue monster would be available to impress. My mom had
    other ideas. "If she really likes you, she will go to the movies with
    you on a bus." she said.

    I opted out of the date. I had enough wisdom to recognize that the
    visual picture of my date and I hanging from the metal railings in
    the bus, occasionally swaying back and forth at every stop was way
    un-cool.

    The message here was noble: People should like you for what you are,
    not for what you have.

    Another lesson was: As long as you get an education, you can study
    whatever you like. This policy and my indecisive character probably
    contributed to my dabbling in all sorts of academic majors.

    Education: Good. Parents should only guide their children in life,
    and not force their own dreams on their offspring.

    My mom still works. And for the majority of his life, my father
    started his workdays at 5 a.m. and returned home in the evening. His
    workweeks were often six or sometimes seven days.

    Honest work: Good.

    On the rare occasions when my mom had a professional helping hand
    around the house (some would call her a maid), she would insist the
    lady from the less privileged part of town sit with us at the dining
    table for lunch, an unorthodox concept even for today.

    The message here was clear: Treat people with dignity and respect, no
    matter where they are from or who they are.

    I don't consider my family values as Armenian, just human. Maybe they
    are too idealistic, and a bit naïve for the world we live in. They
    may even be misguided at times. But these are the values of my family
    and many of my friends.

    And if there are those in our city who commit wrongs, and they have
    lost their way by coming into wealth too suddenly, and if they want
    to take a shortcut to the dream of owning three SUVs and a palace on
    the hills, well, those are their values, not mine, and not my
    friends'.

    * PATRICK AZADIAN works and lives in Glendale. He may be reached at
    [email protected]
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