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Heartfelt San Francisco tribute to a bighearted lady

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  • Heartfelt San Francisco tribute to a bighearted lady

    San Francisco Chronicle, CA
    Jan 11 2008


    Heartfelt San Francisco tribute to a bighearted lady
    Jesse Hamlin, Chronicle Staff Writer

    Friday, January 11, 2008

    San Francisco real estate mogul Gerson Bakar was out of town when he
    got a call one day from his friend Armen Baliantz, the soulful,
    Russian-speaking, Armenian restaurateur and arts patron. She wanted
    to use his house for a party.

    "When I got home, I found the Canadian Ballet and Rudolph Nureyev
    swimming stark naked in the indoor pool," Bakar recalled with a laugh
    Wednesday night.

    He was sitting on a red leather stool at Tosca, the storied North
    Beach bar owned by Baliantz's daughter, Jeannette Etheredge. A great
    jumble of San Franciscans - famed filmmakers and old mustachioed
    waiters, dancers, seamen, cops, judges and a nun - had gathered to
    swap stories and celebrate the life of Baliantz, who died Aug. 2 and
    would have been 87 on Wednesday.

    They toasted the lusty, no-nonsense lady who befriended ballet stars
    and bums equally with an open heart. She had fed a lot of these
    people, mothered and scolded them, introduced some to their spouses,
    helped them get apartments and green cards and raise cash for
    hospitals and dance companies. They praised her generosity, wit and
    the unforgettable food she cooked up at Bali's, the Pacific Street
    restaurant where Madam Bali, as many knew her, entertained until she
    closed the place in 1985.

    "One of the things I loved about Armen was her lamb, so I'm going to
    have a piece," said director Francis Ford Coppola, reaching for the
    lamb marinated in pomegranate juice cooked by caterer Mimi Pederson
    using Baliantz's recipe.

    Watching the door was San Francisco police officer Mark Alvarez, who
    had known Baliantz since the early 1980s, when he worked in his
    pre-cop days at Earl's, the nightclub run by Baliantz's late son,
    Artie.

    "Armen always gave me sound advice, like, 'Get rid of that girl,
    she's not for you,' " Alvarez said. "She was rock-solid. If you had a
    problem, she'd take care of it. When my dad died, I needed a place
    for the wake, and she gave me Bali's and wouldn't charge me. She was
    a gracious, giving person."

    Actress Lauren Hutton, a family friend who was sitting outside
    smoking a hand-rolled cigarette and sipping a hot whiskey, seconded
    that sentiment. She called Baliantz "the great female - protecting,
    giving, loving."

    Born in Harbin, China, to Armenian parents, Armen Psakian spoke
    Russian, Armenian, Mandarin, French and English. At 18, she married
    Aram Baliantz, whose family owned a big confectionary business in
    Qingdao. The couple lived a life of abundance until they were forced
    into an internment camp for four harsh years by the occupying
    Japanese. Baliantz often said the happiest moment in her life was
    seeing an American OSS officer parachuting in to liberate the camp.

    "She told me about the day she was liberated in China, and it was a
    pretty heart-wrenching story," said one of Baliantz's grandsons,
    Devon Etheredge. "Everything was always very intense with her. I miss
    her stories."

    After the communists took control in China, the family spent two
    years in a refugee camp in the Philippines before emigrating to the
    United States. They'd lost all their material possessions except an
    emerald ring, which Armen used to get a bank loan to open the first
    Bali's on Sansome Street in the early 1950s.

    It was there in 1959 that Gary Eldemir began working for the woman he
    still calls "Mrs. Bali," even though they were good friends for
    decades.

    "She was my boss," said Eldemir, a waiter who served Bali's regulars
    like labor leader Harry Bridges, sculptor Benny Bufano and writer
    William Saroyan, with whom Armen, divorced from her husband in 1959,
    had an affair. "I used to feed Bufano and take him back to his
    place," Eldemir said. She liked artists and took care of them. It was
    always fun with Mrs. Bali around."

    After Nureyev defected from the Soviet Union in 1961, Baliantz became
    his friend and protector, a role she played with two other star
    Russian ballet defectors, Mikhail Baryshnikov and Natalia Makarova.

    "How many did she help?" Makarova asked rhetorically Wednesday night.
    "What generosity," said the retired ballerina, who was introduced to
    her husband, Edward Karkar, by Baliantz. "She had a big heart. And no
    bull-."

    Makarova was one of many familiar faces that cropped up in a slide
    show celebrating Baliantz's rich life. There were sepia-toned Old
    World photographs of Baliantz's family, portraits of her as a lovely
    young woman and shots at the restaurant with everyone from Willie
    Brown, who was on hand Wednesday, to Frank Sinatra, Saroyan, cellist
    Mstislav Rostropovich and actress Jessica Lange. One memorable image
    showed Baliantz bookended by Nureyev and Willie McCovey. In another,
    Nureyev comically cupped her breasts.

    "Armen always promised to tell me all the secrets of the Kama Sutra,"
    said film director Philip Kaufman. "Not the sexual parts,
    necessarily, but the wisdom. I got hints but never the full story.
    Armen knew something about everything."

    Speaking to the crowd, Jonathan Moscone, son of slain mayor George
    Moscone and the artistic director of California Shakespeare Theater,
    said Baliantz "defined everything great about this city. When I think
    of her, I think of George and everyone who had style and passion in
    San Francisco ... And she made the best f- rack of lamb I've ever
    eaten."

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/a rticle.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/01/11/MNNRUD2E7.DTL
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