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WHAT HADRIAN CAN TEACH OBAMASENATOR, A TRIP TO THE BRITISH MUSEUM'S EXHIBITION WILL BE OF FAR MORE BENEFIT THAN HANGING OUT WITH GLOOMY GORDON BROWN
Martin Kettle
guardian.co.uk,
Wednesday July 23, 2008
As you know, senator, there are two main objects of your day in
London. One is to gladhand some of those big campaign donors who are
allowed to live in the UK tax-free and so still have serious money
in the bank to offer you.
The second, of course, is to be seen by Americans in a setting that
tells them you are already a leader on the world stage.
Unfortunately, no one Stateside can recognise this new gloomy Gordon
Brown guy or that preppy David Cameron fellow who is lining up to
succeed him.
That's why we've fixed the session with Tony Blair, since most
Americans think he's still the man in charge there anyway. And it's
why we want you to do that press availability in front of the No
10 door as well. That should send all the right messages for the
weekend talkshows.
However, senator, we also now advise a late change to your London
schedule.
The truth is that you have a lot more to offer the UK politicians than
they have to offer you. So we propose cutting back your facetime with
Brown and the rest in favour of something much more photogenic that
we think would benefit you more. That something is a visit to the
British Museum's brand new exhibition about the Emperor Hadrian. This
may seem a bit left-field but here's the reason why it couldn't be
more relevant to you today.
You see, senator, Hadrian's predecessor Trajan had staked everything on
conquering Mesopotamia, which of course is the modern Iraq. At first
Trajan successfully persuaded Romans that the war was going well, but
in fact the mission was overstretched and gradually his campaign was
undermined by a widespread local insurgency. So when Hadrian became
emperor of Rome in 117 AD, just about the first thing he did after
his inauguration was to withdraw the Roman legions from Mesopotamia,
Assyria and Greater Armenia. All this came as a shock to the Roman
psyche, which had been nurtured on endless tales of triumph, but in
the end it made much better sense to bring the boys home. It meant
Hadrian was able to consolidate Rome's boundaries and concentrate on
the military campaigns that truly threatened Rome's security.
Senator, you should know that not everything about Hadrian was as
inspired and successful as the withdrawal from Mesopotamia. There
are some sections of the British Museum exhibition that you should
definitely avoid visiting until after election day. In particular
there is a searing section which describes how he was responsible for
killing hundreds of thousands of Jews during a revolt against Roman
rule starting in 132 AD. So be certain to say very publicly that
Hadrian offers eternal lessons both for good and for evil. Apart
from that, the Hadrian visit will be all gain. It will show you
understand the world better than President Bush. And in the end,
that's what this campaign is all about anyway, senator.
Martin Kettle
guardian.co.uk,
Wednesday July 23, 2008
As you know, senator, there are two main objects of your day in
London. One is to gladhand some of those big campaign donors who are
allowed to live in the UK tax-free and so still have serious money
in the bank to offer you.
The second, of course, is to be seen by Americans in a setting that
tells them you are already a leader on the world stage.
Unfortunately, no one Stateside can recognise this new gloomy Gordon
Brown guy or that preppy David Cameron fellow who is lining up to
succeed him.
That's why we've fixed the session with Tony Blair, since most
Americans think he's still the man in charge there anyway. And it's
why we want you to do that press availability in front of the No
10 door as well. That should send all the right messages for the
weekend talkshows.
However, senator, we also now advise a late change to your London
schedule.
The truth is that you have a lot more to offer the UK politicians than
they have to offer you. So we propose cutting back your facetime with
Brown and the rest in favour of something much more photogenic that
we think would benefit you more. That something is a visit to the
British Museum's brand new exhibition about the Emperor Hadrian. This
may seem a bit left-field but here's the reason why it couldn't be
more relevant to you today.
You see, senator, Hadrian's predecessor Trajan had staked everything on
conquering Mesopotamia, which of course is the modern Iraq. At first
Trajan successfully persuaded Romans that the war was going well, but
in fact the mission was overstretched and gradually his campaign was
undermined by a widespread local insurgency. So when Hadrian became
emperor of Rome in 117 AD, just about the first thing he did after
his inauguration was to withdraw the Roman legions from Mesopotamia,
Assyria and Greater Armenia. All this came as a shock to the Roman
psyche, which had been nurtured on endless tales of triumph, but in
the end it made much better sense to bring the boys home. It meant
Hadrian was able to consolidate Rome's boundaries and concentrate on
the military campaigns that truly threatened Rome's security.
Senator, you should know that not everything about Hadrian was as
inspired and successful as the withdrawal from Mesopotamia. There
are some sections of the British Museum exhibition that you should
definitely avoid visiting until after election day. In particular
there is a searing section which describes how he was responsible for
killing hundreds of thousands of Jews during a revolt against Roman
rule starting in 132 AD. So be certain to say very publicly that
Hadrian offers eternal lessons both for good and for evil. Apart
from that, the Hadrian visit will be all gain. It will show you
understand the world better than President Bush. And in the end,
that's what this campaign is all about anyway, senator.