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Hurriyet Daily News, Turkey
Oct 6 2011
A glossary of Turkish political terms ` an update
Thursday, October 6, 2011
After my `A glossary of Turkish political terms' (Apr. 16, 2008), I
gather there may be a need for an update, although this one may remain
insufficient due to editorial space limitations which did not exist in
2008. All the same, some entries astoundingly remain intact!
Ahmet DavutoÄ?lu: The Messiah for whom the Middle East had waited for
two millennia to enjoy sustainable peace.
Al-Assad, Bashar: Ex-brother who ordered the killing of his own people.
Al-Bashir, Omar: Brother who ordered the slaughtering of his own people.
Al-Khalifa, Khalifa bin Salman: Brother who ordered the killing of his
own people.
Al-Quds: Where we'll all pray together one day.
Anti-Israelism: A state of mental delirium which miraculously brings
together Turks of all ideologies, a popular Turkish pastime.
Balkans, the: Past and future Ottoman territory.
Conciliation: A parliamentary session at which government and
opposition MPs discuss their salaries and other benefits.
Coup d'etat: An ancient Turkish political rite.
Danny Ayalon: The star of the mini movie `The Truth about the West
Bank;' also star of the best-selling movie, `The Low-Chair Diplomacy.'
Doorman: The officer denoting the next level of Turkish-Israeli
diplomatic relations.
Egypt: Newfound love (see Syria; see also halal $$$$).
EU, the: Past and future Ottoman territory (partly).
Iran: A land where strange brothers live (see also halal $$$).
Iran, Syria, Greece and Libya combined: The countries with which `we
have a common history and a common future' (see also Ahmet DavutoÄ?lu).
Jerusalem: see Al-Quds.
Libya: $$$$ (halal, of course).
Nationalism: Shooting in the air and killing your neighbor's
6-year-old child after a national football victory.
Pakistan: The country all Turks say they love even though they'd
rather do two years of military service in Hakkari than visit ` unless
for jihad or halal $$$.
Palestine: The most non-Turkish Turkish national cause.
Russia: $$$$$$.
Secularism: The always-angry retired woman who shouts at her cleaning
lady because she voted for the Justice and Development Party, or AKP,
or the `good Muslim' who hangs around to beat anyone who smokes during
Ramadan.
Strategic depth doctrine, the: Thickness, 600 pages; depth, 2 inches.
Sultan: The person the Turks often think is their prime minister.
Syria: Love-hate relationship.
Tel Aviv: Where Gamal Abdel Nasser's generals promised to have lunch in 1967.
Traitor: Anyone who thinks different than you in matters of national ethos.
Turkish-Armenian protocols: See wastebasket.
Turkish Navy: An organization created with the aim of stopping Cypriot
drilling in the Mediterranean with half of its top brass commanding
operations from inside their prison cells (see EU Minister Egemen
BaÄ?ıÅ?).
Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, the: National pride, gambling, $$
and the `mini homeland.'
UAVs: Unmanned aerial vehicles, or aircraft which Turks can fly but cannot land.
U.N. resolutions on Israeli occupation: International law that must be
complied with.
U.N. resolutions on Turkish occupation of Cyprus: International law
that can be ignored.
UNSC: United Nations Security Council, or a body which has enslaved
the entire world (see Prime Minister Recep Tayyip ErdoÄ?an's interview
with TIME magazine).
U.S., the: The country all Turks say they hate but would pack up and
immigrate to within 15 minutes if given the chance.
Zero problems with neighbors diplomacy: see battleship diplomacy.
Oct 6 2011
A glossary of Turkish political terms ` an update
Thursday, October 6, 2011
After my `A glossary of Turkish political terms' (Apr. 16, 2008), I
gather there may be a need for an update, although this one may remain
insufficient due to editorial space limitations which did not exist in
2008. All the same, some entries astoundingly remain intact!
Ahmet DavutoÄ?lu: The Messiah for whom the Middle East had waited for
two millennia to enjoy sustainable peace.
Al-Assad, Bashar: Ex-brother who ordered the killing of his own people.
Al-Bashir, Omar: Brother who ordered the slaughtering of his own people.
Al-Khalifa, Khalifa bin Salman: Brother who ordered the killing of his
own people.
Al-Quds: Where we'll all pray together one day.
Anti-Israelism: A state of mental delirium which miraculously brings
together Turks of all ideologies, a popular Turkish pastime.
Balkans, the: Past and future Ottoman territory.
Conciliation: A parliamentary session at which government and
opposition MPs discuss their salaries and other benefits.
Coup d'etat: An ancient Turkish political rite.
Danny Ayalon: The star of the mini movie `The Truth about the West
Bank;' also star of the best-selling movie, `The Low-Chair Diplomacy.'
Doorman: The officer denoting the next level of Turkish-Israeli
diplomatic relations.
Egypt: Newfound love (see Syria; see also halal $$$$).
EU, the: Past and future Ottoman territory (partly).
Iran: A land where strange brothers live (see also halal $$$).
Iran, Syria, Greece and Libya combined: The countries with which `we
have a common history and a common future' (see also Ahmet DavutoÄ?lu).
Jerusalem: see Al-Quds.
Libya: $$$$ (halal, of course).
Nationalism: Shooting in the air and killing your neighbor's
6-year-old child after a national football victory.
Pakistan: The country all Turks say they love even though they'd
rather do two years of military service in Hakkari than visit ` unless
for jihad or halal $$$.
Palestine: The most non-Turkish Turkish national cause.
Russia: $$$$$$.
Secularism: The always-angry retired woman who shouts at her cleaning
lady because she voted for the Justice and Development Party, or AKP,
or the `good Muslim' who hangs around to beat anyone who smokes during
Ramadan.
Strategic depth doctrine, the: Thickness, 600 pages; depth, 2 inches.
Sultan: The person the Turks often think is their prime minister.
Syria: Love-hate relationship.
Tel Aviv: Where Gamal Abdel Nasser's generals promised to have lunch in 1967.
Traitor: Anyone who thinks different than you in matters of national ethos.
Turkish-Armenian protocols: See wastebasket.
Turkish Navy: An organization created with the aim of stopping Cypriot
drilling in the Mediterranean with half of its top brass commanding
operations from inside their prison cells (see EU Minister Egemen
BaÄ?ıÅ?).
Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, the: National pride, gambling, $$
and the `mini homeland.'
UAVs: Unmanned aerial vehicles, or aircraft which Turks can fly but cannot land.
U.N. resolutions on Israeli occupation: International law that must be
complied with.
U.N. resolutions on Turkish occupation of Cyprus: International law
that can be ignored.
UNSC: United Nations Security Council, or a body which has enslaved
the entire world (see Prime Minister Recep Tayyip ErdoÄ?an's interview
with TIME magazine).
U.S., the: The country all Turks say they hate but would pack up and
immigrate to within 15 minutes if given the chance.
Zero problems with neighbors diplomacy: see battleship diplomacy.