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Coffee With Ahmet And Mehmet

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  • Coffee With Ahmet And Mehmet

    COFFEE WITH AHMET AND MEHMET
    By Jirair Tutunjian

    http://www.keghart.com/Tutunjian-Ahmet-Mehmet
    9 September 2011

    Ahmet and Mehmet are having their morning "kehve" (coffee) at a
    cafe in Turkish provincial town deep in Anatolia . Ahmet is scanning
    the newspaper.

    Mehmet: What's new in the "Turan Daily News"?

    Ahmet: There's a story on page one about the Israeli foreign minister
    Lieberman saying that Turkey should give Mt. Ararat to Ermenistan.

    Mehmet: Yes, I saw that on TV last night. I looked up the map of
    Turkey, but I couldn't find Mt. Ararat. There must be some mistake.

    There's no Mt. Ararat.

    Ahmet: You never know... it could be a Jewish trick. They want to
    confuse us. Maybe it's Mt. Arafat.

    Mehmet: I thought that was in Holy Mecca. Anything else in the
    newspaper?

    Ahmet: That Lieberman says Turkey should recognize the Armenian
    Genocide.

    Mehmet: Now, I like that. We all know how Armenians committed genocide
    against the Turks. Yes, we should not keep silent any longer: we
    should publicize the Armenian Genocide of our people. I guess the
    Israelis are pushing for genocide recognition to improve their ties
    with us. I tell you, Ahmet, Jews are afraid of us. They know we have
    atomic bombs at the Incerlik base, near Adana.

    Ahmet: Don't start me on Incerlik. Those Gavoor Ermenler are now
    saying Incerlik beongs to them. Next thing they will claim all of
    Eastern Turkey belongs to them. We made a mistake... We shouldn't
    have allowed a single Armenian survive their deportation. This is
    what happens when you are soft-hearted.

    Ahmet: Forget them. Ermenistan has fewer than two million people. I
    am talking about the Israelis. They will have no chance against our
    invincible navy when we escort the flotilla to Gaza.

    Mehmet: It's not going to be like the parting of the Red Sea for Moses
    and the Israelis. Hey, did you know Gaza was originally called Gazi,
    after "Gazi" Mustapha Kemal the Conqueror? Jews changed the name to
    Gaza. You, of course, remember how Ataturk beat the Gavoor British
    and French forces in Palestine during the First World War.

    Ahmet: Of course, I do. Why, the capital of Jordan is still called
    "Amaan" because that's what the Gavoor British and French soldiers
    were wailing when our mighty Gazi Ataturk put them to the yataghan.

    You know something Mehmet, Thanks to our educational system we know
    so much about the glorious history of Turkey.

    Ahmet: That's why I enjoy these coffee conversations with you, Mehmet.

    We know so much. Talking about Ataturk, I hear some people are calling
    Erdogan "Ataturk II."

    Mehmet: I don't know about that... Ataturk wouldn't like some of the
    things Erdogan is doing.

    Ahmet: But Mehmet, arkhadash. Gazi Ataturk would love Erdogan. Just
    wait and see: Erdogan will conquer all the Arab countries, without
    even firing a bullet-from Morocco to Kuwait-and restore our Ottoman
    Empire. Tell you something... I think we should call him Erdogan
    Sultan and Davutoglu his Vizier.

    Mehmet: I don't trust that Davutoglu fellow. With that name and
    face, those glasses, his teaching profession... he must surely be
    the son of a deunme Jew... "Son of David." Check it out... Read
    the bestseller "The White Man." It will tell you about the Deunme
    -Freemason-Zionist-Rothschild conspiracy. His father was probably
    from Salonika.

    Ahmet: Those Mountain Turks are in the news again. Why don't they
    come down from the mountains and join us-the civilized, peace loving
    Turks of the lowlands?

    Mehmet: They are getting too fancy for their breeches. Now they want
    us to call them Kurd. Say it fast, it sounds like Turk. How soon
    they forget that for years we allowed them to loot Gavoor Ermenler
    and steal their women. Weren't Sultan Abdul Hamid's Hamidiyes all
    Mountain Turk bandits?

    Ahmet: Some people have violence and greed in their DNA. You can't
    change that.

    Mehmet: What's DNA?

    Ahmet: I think it's a spice or something Kurds sprinkle on their
    shish-kebab. It makes them violent and raises their blood pressure.

    Ahmet: Ahhh... What are we going to do about Cyprus? Those Gavoor
    Greeks want to drill for underwater oil near the Turkish island.

    Mehmet: Don't worry, arkhadash. After we finish off the Israel navy,
    the cowardly Greeks would keep their mouth shut-just like their
    Patriarch in Istanbul. Cyprus... I mean "Kbrz." What kind of name is
    that for a country?

    Ahmet: Shh... Somebody might say the same thing about our country.

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