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So, what news lately of Azerbaijan or Nagorno-Karabakh?

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  • So, what news lately of Azerbaijan or Nagorno-Karabakh?

    Bendigo Advertiser, Australia
    March 23, 2012 Friday


    So, what news lately of Azerbaijan or Nagorno-Karabakh?

    by Margaret Cooke-Davison

    I really miss them in the news. Back in the 1990s it was very sporting
    to watch TV newsreaders getting their tonsils in a twist as the
    Nagorno-Karabkh Oblast told the Armenians and/or the Azerbainjis where
    to get off.

    It used to come up at daily news meetings I was involved in at the
    time: "Oh ho, faithful cables editor: what news of the Azerbaijanis on
    this fine day?" And the poor devil would have to go into convulsions
    as he or she tried to summarise impenetrable doings in improbable
    places.

    Ah, I miss all that.

    The Nicaraguans playing up and telling the West where to hop off. And,
    my-oh-my, do you recall the epiglottal gurgling spawned by the
    nefarious naughtiness in Bosnia-Herzegovina?

    What mighty days they were for we geographically inclined fans of
    cartographic cups and pronunciation pennants.

    I think my fondness for this started way back in the late 1970s. I was
    a poorly backpacker in London at the time and there were long
    drawn-out talks at Lancaster House about the future of Rhodesia.

    The BBC had a splendid TV newsreader, Angela Rippon, who was famous
    for being able to pronounce, with melodramatic clarity, names which
    would flatten lesser chaps. Or at least require prophylactic
    applications of Chapstik.

    I swear that I saw and heard her announce the following:

    "And in Lancaster House today, further talks were held between (deep
    breath) Mr Jo-shu-a N-ko-mo, the Reverend N-dub-aningy Si-tole-eh, Mr
    Ro-bert Mu-gar-bay and ian smith."

    Poor Ian Smith. To be stripped of his prime ministership, his homeland
    and his wealth was one thing, but to have his name's capital letters
    cruelly de-capped by Angela Ripon must have been a sorry blow.

    I reckon the woman had double jointed vocal chords.

    Admittedly, you still get some of this linguistic Olympics on SBS
    these days, especially from the very fiercely correct Lee Lin Chin.

    Her sternly snapped-out place names and world leaders' names can make
    burly boilermakers quake in fear.

    "In the Outer Mongolian capital of U-laaaaan Bat-ooooor, the deputy
    Grand High Poo-Bar the eighth Jebtsundamba Khutuktu, joined in the
    Great Khural and announced Prime Minister S4khbaataryn Batbold, and
    deputy prime minister Norovyn Altankhuyag ?? there were no reported
    casualties."

    (Those names are correct. Lee Lin Chin told me and therefore it is so).

    Lee Lin Chin could make a game of lawn bowls sound like nuclear
    warfare in a country far far away.

    Even motor racing is losing its fascination for fans of magnificent
    pronunciation.

    Look what happened in the Melbourne grand prix. No victorious Arti
    Smarti FlartyKlart Blast from Finland (you could win triple word score
    with that or be had up for verbal abuse). No triumphant Jergen van den
    Hambergen-mitt-SchippsnGravy. No. It was taken out by Mr Button.

    It made ian smith interesting.

    So, where do we observers of the strangled place name go for
    entertainment these days, now that peace seems to be breaking out in
    Troubled-Twister-stan?

    Right here at home, it turns out. Yes, we have some home-made
    eye-watering pronunciations thanks to the floods and other atmospheric
    oddities.

    In recent national TV news broadcasts, I have heard of the following places:

    l N'Italia, which sounds like it's a province somewhere near Tuscany
    rather than a little town in northern Victoria normally spelled (and
    pronounced) Nathalia.

    l Katamite, which is a not very nice word at all for a young chap of
    highly questionable tastes. To hear that Katamite was being threatened
    should have been good news. Sadly, it wasn't good news for the good
    folk of Katamatite.

    l Somewhere around here there is a place apparently called Numruckar.
    It sounds as though it should be somewhere in Sri Lanka. I don't
    suppose it can be anywhere near Numurkah?

    l And when the news broadcasts originate in Sydney, the floods can be
    bearing down on Barmah, Bahma, Brahma and Burahma simultaneously.

    l I have previously mentioned that mysterious northern community
    pronounced Etcher-car.

    Stand by for emergency oral reconstructive surgery if the flood waters
    threaten Upotipotpon.



    From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress
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