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TO SPEAK THE TRUTH
Khaleej Times
http://www.khaleejtimes.com/kt-article-display-1.asp?xfile=/data/editorial/2012/May/editorial_May47.xml§ion=editorial
May 24 2012
UAE
There is an old Armenian saying that if you intend to tell the truth
make sure you have one foot in the stirrup. Often, in life, you need
to be fully mounted and ready to gallop away.
Contrary to the happy if now misplaced adage that the truth will out
and will release you, the odds are that by saying it as it is you
trigger a chain reaction in which you are the probably the biggest
casualty.
Since many of us spend lives lying when we do tell the truth it
becomes an occasion.
There are three reasons why in this time of greed and ambition why
telling the truth can be a direct flight into trouble.
The first is obvious. You rock the boat. No one wants to hear it
because that then calls for action and ennui and the status quo have
now become the norm so when you open your mouth, however, sincerely
be prepared for the payback. Your seniors think you are just creating
waves for nothing. Your peers think you are upstaging them with a lot
of grandstanding and your juniors think you are building a career on
their bones.
The second reason is predicated on the first but is in part mutually
exclusive. No one likes bad news and telling the truth usually means
much the same so let's shoot the messenger, he is the guy who is
bringing the message, things were going fine till he opened his
big mouth.
Third, there is nothing absolute about the truth because we now live
in a time, where values have made truth into plasticine, malleable,
soft, subjective and open to interpretation in that truth is what we
want to make of it. Again, as with a prism truth has many sides to it,
that many more pressures and elements that its intrinsic form is bent,
stapled and broken in a hundred places.
So, rather than set you free the truth can actually get you into
trouble. At home, at work, in public, on the road, in business, in
society, anywhere, with friends and enemies, you name it, you get it
in the neck.
Nonsense, I hear you say, I never lie, I always tell the truth. I
am sure you do. So, perhaps the exceptions to the 89 per cent of the
population who prefaces its comments with a request: can I be honest.
Ergo, you have been constantly dishonest and now it is your desire
to be upfront and candid because the truth is self-serving. It suits
you to tell the truth.
Now, you hear yourself say: I hope you don't mind if I am frank. How
mealy mouthed and hypocritical can you get? Yet, most of us speak in
this forked-tongued fashion even as we swear by the truth.
The moment it becomes a liability and endangers our comfort zone
truth becomes a casualty and can be put aside.
As such, much as we loudly protest our affection for it, it is more
like a fragmented convenience that we can pull parts of as they fit
rather than an inviolate entity.
Paradoxically, the truth is probably the most upsetting and
unforgiveable transgression of another's privacy and peace of mind.
The doctor to the patient: I am sorry, I do not have good news,
your tests are back.
The husband to the wife: I am sorry, but I do not love you anymore,
I am having an affair.
The wife to the husband: we just cannot carry on like this, let's
just divorce.
Children to parents: what I really want is for you to stop interfering
in my life and let me be, I need space, can't you understand that.
The boss to his subordinate: I have covered for you long enough but
today is your last day because you are incompetent and no amount of
thoughtful gifts is going to change that.
The subordinate to the boss: I have a new job, I am out of here, gee,
have I ever told you what a pain you are.
And so it goes on, a spiral of deceit masquerading as the truth. The
worst thing is that when you are lied to you realise that person
doesn't think you are worthy of knowing the truth. The jesting Pilate
asked, what is truth and did not wait for an answer.
Neither do we.
Khaleej Times
http://www.khaleejtimes.com/kt-article-display-1.asp?xfile=/data/editorial/2012/May/editorial_May47.xml§ion=editorial
May 24 2012
UAE
There is an old Armenian saying that if you intend to tell the truth
make sure you have one foot in the stirrup. Often, in life, you need
to be fully mounted and ready to gallop away.
Contrary to the happy if now misplaced adage that the truth will out
and will release you, the odds are that by saying it as it is you
trigger a chain reaction in which you are the probably the biggest
casualty.
Since many of us spend lives lying when we do tell the truth it
becomes an occasion.
There are three reasons why in this time of greed and ambition why
telling the truth can be a direct flight into trouble.
The first is obvious. You rock the boat. No one wants to hear it
because that then calls for action and ennui and the status quo have
now become the norm so when you open your mouth, however, sincerely
be prepared for the payback. Your seniors think you are just creating
waves for nothing. Your peers think you are upstaging them with a lot
of grandstanding and your juniors think you are building a career on
their bones.
The second reason is predicated on the first but is in part mutually
exclusive. No one likes bad news and telling the truth usually means
much the same so let's shoot the messenger, he is the guy who is
bringing the message, things were going fine till he opened his
big mouth.
Third, there is nothing absolute about the truth because we now live
in a time, where values have made truth into plasticine, malleable,
soft, subjective and open to interpretation in that truth is what we
want to make of it. Again, as with a prism truth has many sides to it,
that many more pressures and elements that its intrinsic form is bent,
stapled and broken in a hundred places.
So, rather than set you free the truth can actually get you into
trouble. At home, at work, in public, on the road, in business, in
society, anywhere, with friends and enemies, you name it, you get it
in the neck.
Nonsense, I hear you say, I never lie, I always tell the truth. I
am sure you do. So, perhaps the exceptions to the 89 per cent of the
population who prefaces its comments with a request: can I be honest.
Ergo, you have been constantly dishonest and now it is your desire
to be upfront and candid because the truth is self-serving. It suits
you to tell the truth.
Now, you hear yourself say: I hope you don't mind if I am frank. How
mealy mouthed and hypocritical can you get? Yet, most of us speak in
this forked-tongued fashion even as we swear by the truth.
The moment it becomes a liability and endangers our comfort zone
truth becomes a casualty and can be put aside.
As such, much as we loudly protest our affection for it, it is more
like a fragmented convenience that we can pull parts of as they fit
rather than an inviolate entity.
Paradoxically, the truth is probably the most upsetting and
unforgiveable transgression of another's privacy and peace of mind.
The doctor to the patient: I am sorry, I do not have good news,
your tests are back.
The husband to the wife: I am sorry, but I do not love you anymore,
I am having an affair.
The wife to the husband: we just cannot carry on like this, let's
just divorce.
Children to parents: what I really want is for you to stop interfering
in my life and let me be, I need space, can't you understand that.
The boss to his subordinate: I have covered for you long enough but
today is your last day because you are incompetent and no amount of
thoughtful gifts is going to change that.
The subordinate to the boss: I have a new job, I am out of here, gee,
have I ever told you what a pain you are.
And so it goes on, a spiral of deceit masquerading as the truth. The
worst thing is that when you are lied to you realise that person
doesn't think you are worthy of knowing the truth. The jesting Pilate
asked, what is truth and did not wait for an answer.
Neither do we.