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HEADLINES FROM THE CENTENNIAL! - A SEQUEL (II)
Hurriyet Daily News
Oct 26 2012
Turkey
[email protected]
Here we go with more headlines from the Istanbul press in the year
2023:
- Turkey's Supreme Islamic Scientific Committee has announced that its
scientists have successfully developed an Islamic bulb which refuses to
switch on if it senses alcohol within 25 meters. The committee said the
invention would be nominated for the Islamic Nobel prize in physics.
- A major in the Turkish Army has appealed to the European Court of
Human Rights for having been expelled from service because his wife
does not wear the Islamic headscarf. The court refused to examine
the complaint on the grounds that Turkey had ceased to be a member
of the European Council in 2019.
- A probe into the errant bombing of Diyarbakır by Turkish fighter
jets which killed 348 locals in January found that the tragedy had
happened because of an Israeli conspiracy. The Homeland Security
Department said it had arrested 26 more Israeli spies over the
past week in connection to the plot, including five wild geese,
seven dolphins, three falcons and 11 bluefish. An official said:
"All of the suspects carried special tags that read 'Israeli spy.'"
- Turkey and the outlawed PKK announced that they decided to hold
their 276th round of secret peace talks in Kingston, Jamaica. A joint
statement read: "We had been quite weary of the cold and depressing
weather in Nordic countries."
- The Turkish Parliament released a communiqué threatening all
164 parliaments across the world that have recognized the Armenian
genocide. It said: "We will have no alternative but to resort to
fully using our global superpower capabilities in retaliation." The
only response came from Vanuatu's Parliament, which said: "We are
not afraid."
- President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has praised the new democratic
reform package in Saudi Arabia which allows women to drive if they
are accompanied by at least four male members of their families.
- Islam, the Quran and the Life of Prophet Muhammad has been introduced
as a compulsory course in all university departments. Some academics
objected that the new regulations could hinder a scientific curriculum
as a student of mechanical engineering would now have to study Islam
for more hours per week than mathematics.
- After Mey Gida, an alcoholic beverages producer, applied to the
tobacco and alcohol watchdog to obtain a license for its brand-new
product, alcohol-free rakı, a food processor has applied to the
authorities to win a license to produce pork-free bacon.
- Human rights organizations criticized the Turkish government for
systematically abusing and intimidating female government employees
who don't wear the Islamic headscarf. A spokesman for the government
replied that: "The accusations are totally baseless. On the contrary,
we think we deserve praise for trying to help the non-pious employees
find the right way and reach salvation."
- The police have reported that during the holy month of Ramadan
this year a total of 329 people across Turkey were caught red-handed
while publicly chewing gum and smoking. The police said the suspects
were arrested after having admitted guilt, although 326 of them said
they were only visiting tourists from Britain, Russia, Japan, Italy,
Spain, Canada and India. Two of the suspects were found to be Alevi
Turks and one was an Azerbaijani national.
- Ankara has threatened to take retaliatory action unless Libya,
Tunisia and Egypt agreed to take Turkey as a role model for democracy
in their respective countries.
- The Supreme Board of Moral Values has decided to ban a new list
of 26,450 books on the grounds that they could lead to a collapse
of public order. The banned books include best-sellers like "Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows," "The Adventures of Pinocchio,"
"Gone with the Wind," "1984," "The Godfather," "Jaws," "Don Quixote,"
"Tarzan," "Bridget Jones' Diary," as well as Bill Wilson's "Alcoholics
Anonymous Big Book," Dante's "Divine Comedy," "The Oxford Advanced
Learner's Dictionary" and Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and
Influence People."
October/26/2012
http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/headlines-from-the-centennial--a-sequel-ii.aspx?pageID=449&nID=33255&NewsCatID=398
From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress
Hurriyet Daily News
Oct 26 2012
Turkey
[email protected]
Here we go with more headlines from the Istanbul press in the year
2023:
- Turkey's Supreme Islamic Scientific Committee has announced that its
scientists have successfully developed an Islamic bulb which refuses to
switch on if it senses alcohol within 25 meters. The committee said the
invention would be nominated for the Islamic Nobel prize in physics.
- A major in the Turkish Army has appealed to the European Court of
Human Rights for having been expelled from service because his wife
does not wear the Islamic headscarf. The court refused to examine
the complaint on the grounds that Turkey had ceased to be a member
of the European Council in 2019.
- A probe into the errant bombing of Diyarbakır by Turkish fighter
jets which killed 348 locals in January found that the tragedy had
happened because of an Israeli conspiracy. The Homeland Security
Department said it had arrested 26 more Israeli spies over the
past week in connection to the plot, including five wild geese,
seven dolphins, three falcons and 11 bluefish. An official said:
"All of the suspects carried special tags that read 'Israeli spy.'"
- Turkey and the outlawed PKK announced that they decided to hold
their 276th round of secret peace talks in Kingston, Jamaica. A joint
statement read: "We had been quite weary of the cold and depressing
weather in Nordic countries."
- The Turkish Parliament released a communiqué threatening all
164 parliaments across the world that have recognized the Armenian
genocide. It said: "We will have no alternative but to resort to
fully using our global superpower capabilities in retaliation." The
only response came from Vanuatu's Parliament, which said: "We are
not afraid."
- President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has praised the new democratic
reform package in Saudi Arabia which allows women to drive if they
are accompanied by at least four male members of their families.
- Islam, the Quran and the Life of Prophet Muhammad has been introduced
as a compulsory course in all university departments. Some academics
objected that the new regulations could hinder a scientific curriculum
as a student of mechanical engineering would now have to study Islam
for more hours per week than mathematics.
- After Mey Gida, an alcoholic beverages producer, applied to the
tobacco and alcohol watchdog to obtain a license for its brand-new
product, alcohol-free rakı, a food processor has applied to the
authorities to win a license to produce pork-free bacon.
- Human rights organizations criticized the Turkish government for
systematically abusing and intimidating female government employees
who don't wear the Islamic headscarf. A spokesman for the government
replied that: "The accusations are totally baseless. On the contrary,
we think we deserve praise for trying to help the non-pious employees
find the right way and reach salvation."
- The police have reported that during the holy month of Ramadan
this year a total of 329 people across Turkey were caught red-handed
while publicly chewing gum and smoking. The police said the suspects
were arrested after having admitted guilt, although 326 of them said
they were only visiting tourists from Britain, Russia, Japan, Italy,
Spain, Canada and India. Two of the suspects were found to be Alevi
Turks and one was an Azerbaijani national.
- Ankara has threatened to take retaliatory action unless Libya,
Tunisia and Egypt agreed to take Turkey as a role model for democracy
in their respective countries.
- The Supreme Board of Moral Values has decided to ban a new list
of 26,450 books on the grounds that they could lead to a collapse
of public order. The banned books include best-sellers like "Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows," "The Adventures of Pinocchio,"
"Gone with the Wind," "1984," "The Godfather," "Jaws," "Don Quixote,"
"Tarzan," "Bridget Jones' Diary," as well as Bill Wilson's "Alcoholics
Anonymous Big Book," Dante's "Divine Comedy," "The Oxford Advanced
Learner's Dictionary" and Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and
Influence People."
October/26/2012
http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/headlines-from-the-centennial--a-sequel-ii.aspx?pageID=449&nID=33255&NewsCatID=398
From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress