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MARRIED TO TRADITION: ARMENIA'S YEZIDI AT ODDS OVER GOVERNMENT AMENDMENT ON MATRIMONY
By Gayane Lazarian
ArmeniaNow
Features | 07.09.12 | 14:59
Childhood for girls in Yezidi village of Rya Taza finishes when they
turn 12.
A young woman with black velvety hair and with equally black shiny eyes
is pouring hot, aromatic coffee into flower-patterned cups. The grayish
steam going up and disappearing in the air veils the melancholy in
her eyes; the coarse, cracked skin on her hands speaks of a hard life.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Sona-family.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] Sona and her daughters are preparing for the
upcoming engagement.
[yezidi-village-armenia-the-head-of-village.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] The village head says early marriages for Yezidis
mean having lasting marriages.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Mhoyan-Seda.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] Seda has been keeping first her sister and now
her teenage daughter in Tbilisi away from the Rya Taza customs.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Leyla.jpg] Enlarge Photo [enlarg_image.gif]
Leyla is the only young girl attending school and planning to go
to university.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Mhoyan-Asya.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] Asya wants to make sure her daughter turns at
least 20 before she gets married.
"My mother-in-law and I have decided to abide by our tradition,
she is too young but we gave her [to marriage] anyway," says the
girl's mother, Sona Aslo, 33-year old mother of four, who lives in
Aragatsotn province's Rya Taza Yezidi village, 80 km from Yerevan.
"I got married when I was 15, too, so what? We saw it's a good family,
and what could my daughter have said?"
Sona moved here from Tbilisi to live with her mother-in-law after her
husband's death. Relatives gathered in their courtyard are discussing
Sona's 14-year-old teenage daughter Ilona's engagement details.
Ilona's uncle Kyaram Davreshyan, 56, who has arrived from Tbilisi
for the occasion, says with bemusement: "What were they thinking when
they agreed to this marriage? She is too young and will have a hard
time. They should have waited at least for a couple of more years to
let her mature a little bit."
Yezidi women explain their early marriages by ethnic customs and
traditions. Rya Taza village head Ahmad Broyan says that there isn't a
single 20-year old girl left in the village now, they are all married.
"There is a queue for girls, we want to wait until they grow up,
but there aren't any, not even spinsters. The youngest bride in the
village is 16, the youngest bride-to-be is 14," says Broyan adding
that they have nothing against the government-approved amendment
to the RA Family Code, by which the minimum marriage age would be
18 versus the former 17. The amendment, approved in July, is to be
debated in the autumn session of the National Assembly.
Chairman of the World's Yezidi Union Aziz Tamoyan has spoken against
the amendment, saying that the 60,000 Yezidi community objects to the
bill since they view an 18-year-old girl as an old woman and Yezidi
girls get married at 15-16.
Prime Minister Tigran Sargsyan responded to their objections by
promising to reconsider the draft law if it, indeed, would violate
the natural life arrangement of the Yezidi community. (The Yezidi,
whose origin is Kurdish, form the largest ethno-religious minority in
Armenia, where many are active as shepherds, living in the highlands.
There religious belief is a mix of paganism and Islam.)
While the union leader objects, young Yezidi women support the bill
because they got married at an early age and have experienced first
hand what that means.
Seda Mhoyan, 41, says her health issues are the consequence of early
marriage.
"Many women become unhappy but endure it, they don't get divorced.
For the sake of their father's reputation they won't go for it.
Plus there is a certain attitude toward divorced women," says Seda,
who lives in Tbilisi and is now visiting her parents in Rya Taza.
For five years she kept her younger sister with her in Tbilisi not
letting her come to Armenia, to prevent an early marriage.
"I kept her until she turned 21 but they wouldn't let me keep her any
further. My daughter is 14 and I won't let her get married until she
gains higher education," says Seda.
Yezidi men, on the other hand, believe that it is due to early
marriages that they don't have divorces. The village head of Rya
Taza, with 443 residents, says the family notion is deeply rooted in
Yezidi society.
"I don't recall ever hearing that a couple got divorced in our
village. It's just that the sense of shame is stronger with us. How
would we say 'this man's daughter got divorced'? What about her
father's honor, name, reputation, how can there be such a thing?"
says Broyan.
Fifty-nine-year-old Tarlan Hasoyan's cheeks are rushed and sparkling
from the burning village sun. The bandana tightly around her head,
little golden globes decorating her ears and a long black dress
complete the image of a Yezidi woman. She speaks with confidence and
respect for their customs and traditions.
"A Yezidi woman is predestined to get married, become a good wife,
a good mother, take care of her family, milk cows... and respect men.
When you see a man approaching you have to stand up to greet him,
you should not eat at the same table with him, that's respect," she
says, complaining only that girls aren't allowed to acquire education.
Her granddaughter, 17 year-old Leyla says that she will break that
dogmatic mentality and will continue her studies after finishing
school.
"My family has agreed. I put education above ethnic traditions.
Would harm would it be if a Yezidi woman could become an official
and represent her community's rights as well?" she says.
Leyla is the only girl in Rya Taza attending school. Her girlfriends
have left school unfinished and are home waiting for their future
husbands.
"When girls turn 12, they are told that they are now old enough so
shouldn't go outside, should wear long skirts, not go anywhere, do
this, do that. So their mentality is forced to change. Girls aren't
allowed to think about anything else other than marriage," says Leyla.
There are no women with higher education in the village. Young women
are conflicted about standing up for their rights and freedoms.
With her raven-black hair pulled tightly back, Asya Mhoyan shakes
snow-white bed sheets and puts them on a line to dry. She has a
light smile playing on her lips, but her face is overwhelmed with
inner protest. She says she got married at 16, but will fight for
her daughter to let her turn at least 20.
"For 15 years I have not eaten at the same table with my father-in-law,
he has never seen me eat. I have never spoken to him in a loud voice,
only whisper," says Asya, who is now 36.
Rya Taza is preparing for Ilona's engagement.
Ilona's sister Ela Aslo, who is now 12, can already sense the looming
threat, so she says out loud: "I don't feel sad for Ilona, so that
she doesn't feel sad either. But I won't let them wed me so early. I
am dreaming of becoming a dancer, I keep telling them that I won't get
married," she says. And in her "no" are signs of rebellion that might,
one day, spark revolution in this society wed to archaic customs.
For more images of life in Rya Taza click here.
From: A. Papazian
By Gayane Lazarian
ArmeniaNow
Features | 07.09.12 | 14:59
Childhood for girls in Yezidi village of Rya Taza finishes when they
turn 12.
A young woman with black velvety hair and with equally black shiny eyes
is pouring hot, aromatic coffee into flower-patterned cups. The grayish
steam going up and disappearing in the air veils the melancholy in
her eyes; the coarse, cracked skin on her hands speaks of a hard life.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Sona-family.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] Sona and her daughters are preparing for the
upcoming engagement.
[yezidi-village-armenia-the-head-of-village.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] The village head says early marriages for Yezidis
mean having lasting marriages.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Mhoyan-Seda.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] Seda has been keeping first her sister and now
her teenage daughter in Tbilisi away from the Rya Taza customs.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Leyla.jpg] Enlarge Photo [enlarg_image.gif]
Leyla is the only young girl attending school and planning to go
to university.
[yezidi-village-armenia-Mhoyan-Asya.jpg] Enlarge Photo
[enlarg_image.gif] Asya wants to make sure her daughter turns at
least 20 before she gets married.
"My mother-in-law and I have decided to abide by our tradition,
she is too young but we gave her [to marriage] anyway," says the
girl's mother, Sona Aslo, 33-year old mother of four, who lives in
Aragatsotn province's Rya Taza Yezidi village, 80 km from Yerevan.
"I got married when I was 15, too, so what? We saw it's a good family,
and what could my daughter have said?"
Sona moved here from Tbilisi to live with her mother-in-law after her
husband's death. Relatives gathered in their courtyard are discussing
Sona's 14-year-old teenage daughter Ilona's engagement details.
Ilona's uncle Kyaram Davreshyan, 56, who has arrived from Tbilisi
for the occasion, says with bemusement: "What were they thinking when
they agreed to this marriage? She is too young and will have a hard
time. They should have waited at least for a couple of more years to
let her mature a little bit."
Yezidi women explain their early marriages by ethnic customs and
traditions. Rya Taza village head Ahmad Broyan says that there isn't a
single 20-year old girl left in the village now, they are all married.
"There is a queue for girls, we want to wait until they grow up,
but there aren't any, not even spinsters. The youngest bride in the
village is 16, the youngest bride-to-be is 14," says Broyan adding
that they have nothing against the government-approved amendment
to the RA Family Code, by which the minimum marriage age would be
18 versus the former 17. The amendment, approved in July, is to be
debated in the autumn session of the National Assembly.
Chairman of the World's Yezidi Union Aziz Tamoyan has spoken against
the amendment, saying that the 60,000 Yezidi community objects to the
bill since they view an 18-year-old girl as an old woman and Yezidi
girls get married at 15-16.
Prime Minister Tigran Sargsyan responded to their objections by
promising to reconsider the draft law if it, indeed, would violate
the natural life arrangement of the Yezidi community. (The Yezidi,
whose origin is Kurdish, form the largest ethno-religious minority in
Armenia, where many are active as shepherds, living in the highlands.
There religious belief is a mix of paganism and Islam.)
While the union leader objects, young Yezidi women support the bill
because they got married at an early age and have experienced first
hand what that means.
Seda Mhoyan, 41, says her health issues are the consequence of early
marriage.
"Many women become unhappy but endure it, they don't get divorced.
For the sake of their father's reputation they won't go for it.
Plus there is a certain attitude toward divorced women," says Seda,
who lives in Tbilisi and is now visiting her parents in Rya Taza.
For five years she kept her younger sister with her in Tbilisi not
letting her come to Armenia, to prevent an early marriage.
"I kept her until she turned 21 but they wouldn't let me keep her any
further. My daughter is 14 and I won't let her get married until she
gains higher education," says Seda.
Yezidi men, on the other hand, believe that it is due to early
marriages that they don't have divorces. The village head of Rya
Taza, with 443 residents, says the family notion is deeply rooted in
Yezidi society.
"I don't recall ever hearing that a couple got divorced in our
village. It's just that the sense of shame is stronger with us. How
would we say 'this man's daughter got divorced'? What about her
father's honor, name, reputation, how can there be such a thing?"
says Broyan.
Fifty-nine-year-old Tarlan Hasoyan's cheeks are rushed and sparkling
from the burning village sun. The bandana tightly around her head,
little golden globes decorating her ears and a long black dress
complete the image of a Yezidi woman. She speaks with confidence and
respect for their customs and traditions.
"A Yezidi woman is predestined to get married, become a good wife,
a good mother, take care of her family, milk cows... and respect men.
When you see a man approaching you have to stand up to greet him,
you should not eat at the same table with him, that's respect," she
says, complaining only that girls aren't allowed to acquire education.
Her granddaughter, 17 year-old Leyla says that she will break that
dogmatic mentality and will continue her studies after finishing
school.
"My family has agreed. I put education above ethnic traditions.
Would harm would it be if a Yezidi woman could become an official
and represent her community's rights as well?" she says.
Leyla is the only girl in Rya Taza attending school. Her girlfriends
have left school unfinished and are home waiting for their future
husbands.
"When girls turn 12, they are told that they are now old enough so
shouldn't go outside, should wear long skirts, not go anywhere, do
this, do that. So their mentality is forced to change. Girls aren't
allowed to think about anything else other than marriage," says Leyla.
There are no women with higher education in the village. Young women
are conflicted about standing up for their rights and freedoms.
With her raven-black hair pulled tightly back, Asya Mhoyan shakes
snow-white bed sheets and puts them on a line to dry. She has a
light smile playing on her lips, but her face is overwhelmed with
inner protest. She says she got married at 16, but will fight for
her daughter to let her turn at least 20.
"For 15 years I have not eaten at the same table with my father-in-law,
he has never seen me eat. I have never spoken to him in a loud voice,
only whisper," says Asya, who is now 36.
Rya Taza is preparing for Ilona's engagement.
Ilona's sister Ela Aslo, who is now 12, can already sense the looming
threat, so she says out loud: "I don't feel sad for Ilona, so that
she doesn't feel sad either. But I won't let them wed me so early. I
am dreaming of becoming a dancer, I keep telling them that I won't get
married," she says. And in her "no" are signs of rebellion that might,
one day, spark revolution in this society wed to archaic customs.
For more images of life in Rya Taza click here.
From: A. Papazian