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Excerpt from "Nowhere: a Story of Exile"

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  • Excerpt from "Nowhere: a Story of Exile"

    Excerpt from "Nowhere: a Story of Exile"
    by Anna Astvatsaturian Turcotte

    http://www.reporter.am/go/article/2012-09-28-excerpt-from--nowhere-a-story-of-exile-
    Published: Friday September 28, 2012


    The young Anya with her dad Norik in Baku. Courtesy image

    What follows is an exceprt from "Nowhere, a story of exile":

    "The demonstrations that started at the end of the summer were not the
    last ones. We saw them more frequently, thousands of people rushing
    and screaming. Our street was the main street that led to Lenin
    Square, where the government buildings were located. The
    demonstrators were Azeri who wanted us out of the country and demanded
    that Armenia stops claiming Nagorno-Karabakh as historically Armenian
    land.

    The demonstrations worsened with time. They grew bigger and louder.
    The beginning of the school year of 1988-1989 was confusing for
    everyone. I was a fifth grader now but I was not thinking about school
    even though I functioned, automatically memorizing poems, formulas and
    English vocabulary.

    Things were uncertain and unpredictable and that fall Mama didn't let
    me go out of the patio to climb the olive trees on our street. The
    olives were for pickling and we gathered them together with Vilya
    yearly. Mama reasoned that it would attract too much attention to the
    building and to me. The school didn't send the students on olive
    picking field trips either. The olive trees on the street were filled
    with ripe olives which we could only look at through our window and
    not touch.

    Through the social webs and contacts information leaked into the
    households of Armenians that in November there were pogroms and
    atrocities committed against Armenian citizens in Kirovabad, a distant
    city, second largest in Azerbaijan. Elderly, men and women, killed,
    raped, maimed. We covered our mouths in disbelief. Nothing was
    reported on the news. As the day went by Mama brushed it off as a
    non-story, something that would never happen in Baku, which was filled
    with intellectuals and internationalists.

    On a certain December 1988 afternoon, everyone was at home when I
    returned from school. The events that transpired erased all
    recollection of having been to school that day. That day's
    demonstrations were the worst we had ever seen.

    We are gathered in my Grandma's apartment, all of us, Mama, Papa,
    Misha, Grandma and me. We have locked the door from inside, and sit,
    waiting, with all windows closed and shuttered. We turn the lights
    off. Papa tells Misha and me to speak in whispers. Papa takes all of
    the knives out of the kitchen drawers and sets them in a pile in front
    of him at the dining room table, prepared for the worst. He keeps
    saying, repeatedly, "If they break in, I will take a few of them with
    me to the other world."

    We are afraid to talk aloud. We whisper if we have to, but rarely.
    Mama is holding Misha on her lap on the sofa, her face buried in his
    blonde curls and Grandma is sitting on the chair looking at her
    wrinkly hands which rest on her old-fashioned cotton dress. Through
    the unfortunate cracks in the blinds, we see people rushing down the
    street with green flags. There are so many of them their shoulders
    brush against the walls of our building. We see a few black flags,
    which mean "death" and "vengeance," hand-made in a hurry. The
    demonstrators run and rush against and past our building. There is
    shouting, chanting and screaming in Azeri.

    As I sneak a look in the crack in the shutters, I see a man in a black
    coat. He is in front of the crowd, walking backward, shouting
    something. From that distance, we cannot understand what he is
    saying, though his voice is loud and he addresses the crowd in Azeri.
    It seems that he is trying to stop them. But they only yell louder
    and rush forth, almost as if to tell the man in black that they will
    not listen to him. Sure enough, they shove him aside and a few
    demonstrators enter the patio of the apartment building right next to
    ours. They yell for Armenians to come out. This building is
    well-known for housing Armenians who have lived there for several
    generations. A few of them were mixed families - Azeri, Russian and
    Armenian. Papa shoves me away from the window.

    The demonstrators yell and scream. When no one lets them in, they
    start hurling rocks at the windows. We hear crashing and muffled
    commotion and yelling. Suddenly they appear back on the street and
    rush ahead toward the Lenin Square, looking for excitement elsewhere.
    They appear to miss our building. It is too close to the railroad and
    is out of sight. The gates to the patio are shielded by bushes and
    trees. Later, we learn that Nagorno-Karabakh Armenians are trying to
    secede from Azerbaijan and rejoin Armenia."

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