Tweet
SHARING LIFE, LOVE TOGETHER THOUGH IN SEPARATE STATES
Richmond Times Dispatch (Virginia)
April 1, 2014 Tuesday
State Edition
by: A. Nancy Avakian
How could I believe him when he said he loved me?
John had been married to Margie for 54 years. I knew them both when
we all lived in Richmond. Although we attended the same church,
we traveled in different social circles. I eventually moved to a
different city to pursue my career in academic administration. When
Margie became ill, John was her caregiver until she passed away.
John and I met up again a few years ago at a regional church assembly.
I didn't recognize him, but he asked if I wasn't Nancy. We started
dating soon thereafter. The first time we walked across a busy
thoroughfare together, my hand slipped into his outstretched hand. We
were astonished at the ease and comfort we each felt in this small
gesture. I was surprised yet pleased that John, a retired developer and
restaurateur, was readily recognized in Richmond whenever we were out.
We have kept our separate residences in different states, but we
travel to each other's homes on alternate months, usually Richmond in
the winter and Rochester, N.Y., in the summer. John bought us each
a cellphone so that we can always be in touch. He calls me daily,
sometimes more than once a day. We may even call each other to
comment on a television show we are watching simultaneously hundreds
of miles apart. We both speak Armenian, and find it's fun to flirt
in that language.
I told John about a friend of mine who was getting married. Her
circumstances were similar to ours.She and her fiance each have adult
children and have homes in different states. Each saw two lawyers for
prenuptials and changes of wills, powers of attorney, health proxies,
etc. Neither John nor I wanted to go through these rigors. Having read
about an ecclesiastical blessing of an unwed couple who sported wedding
rings, I approached John with a similar suggestion for us. The priest
of the Richmond Armenian Church was delighted to perform a blessing
for us. He was leaving for a new parish that weekend so only John's
children were able to attend. It was a brief ceremony somewhat similar
to a wedding ceremony, sans vows, but with great meaning.
Although John and I have always used terms of endearment for each
other, we have explored different names for the other, such as best
friend, life's companion or soul mate. Since we feel committed to each
other, we sometimes refer to ourselves as a couple -- husband and wife.
Both of us had been content with our lives before we started dating. I
had been divorced for several years and, before dating John,had never
wanted to become seriously involved with someone again. Whenever John
hesitated, I thought he was comparing me with Margie or remembering
days with her. Both of us know John will never forget Margie. She
was a part of his life, his past.
Whenever I have asked him how long we will be in this euphoric state
of "being in love," his positive response has been: "for the rest of
our lives." He has confessed he doesn't mind if he doesn't live long,
but he wants it to be a good life -- and wants it to be with me.
He includes it in his daily prayers. More than once John has said,
"Live in the moment." We are alive today -- talking, smiling,
laughing, traveling, exploring, dancing, joking, holding hands,
kissing and loving.
One day, as he did a two-step dance, he leaned over to kiss me. I
realized I love and respect this wonderful man, and he loves me. He
is able to appreciate his past and live in the present. How could I
not love such a vibrant, handsome, kind and intelligent man?
More important, how could I ever doubt his love for me?
A. Nancy Avakian lives in Rochester, N.Y. She is retired, having
served in senior administrative positions at several institutions of
higher education, including Virginia Commonwealth University.
From: A. Papazian
Richmond Times Dispatch (Virginia)
April 1, 2014 Tuesday
State Edition
by: A. Nancy Avakian
How could I believe him when he said he loved me?
John had been married to Margie for 54 years. I knew them both when
we all lived in Richmond. Although we attended the same church,
we traveled in different social circles. I eventually moved to a
different city to pursue my career in academic administration. When
Margie became ill, John was her caregiver until she passed away.
John and I met up again a few years ago at a regional church assembly.
I didn't recognize him, but he asked if I wasn't Nancy. We started
dating soon thereafter. The first time we walked across a busy
thoroughfare together, my hand slipped into his outstretched hand. We
were astonished at the ease and comfort we each felt in this small
gesture. I was surprised yet pleased that John, a retired developer and
restaurateur, was readily recognized in Richmond whenever we were out.
We have kept our separate residences in different states, but we
travel to each other's homes on alternate months, usually Richmond in
the winter and Rochester, N.Y., in the summer. John bought us each
a cellphone so that we can always be in touch. He calls me daily,
sometimes more than once a day. We may even call each other to
comment on a television show we are watching simultaneously hundreds
of miles apart. We both speak Armenian, and find it's fun to flirt
in that language.
I told John about a friend of mine who was getting married. Her
circumstances were similar to ours.She and her fiance each have adult
children and have homes in different states. Each saw two lawyers for
prenuptials and changes of wills, powers of attorney, health proxies,
etc. Neither John nor I wanted to go through these rigors. Having read
about an ecclesiastical blessing of an unwed couple who sported wedding
rings, I approached John with a similar suggestion for us. The priest
of the Richmond Armenian Church was delighted to perform a blessing
for us. He was leaving for a new parish that weekend so only John's
children were able to attend. It was a brief ceremony somewhat similar
to a wedding ceremony, sans vows, but with great meaning.
Although John and I have always used terms of endearment for each
other, we have explored different names for the other, such as best
friend, life's companion or soul mate. Since we feel committed to each
other, we sometimes refer to ourselves as a couple -- husband and wife.
Both of us had been content with our lives before we started dating. I
had been divorced for several years and, before dating John,had never
wanted to become seriously involved with someone again. Whenever John
hesitated, I thought he was comparing me with Margie or remembering
days with her. Both of us know John will never forget Margie. She
was a part of his life, his past.
Whenever I have asked him how long we will be in this euphoric state
of "being in love," his positive response has been: "for the rest of
our lives." He has confessed he doesn't mind if he doesn't live long,
but he wants it to be a good life -- and wants it to be with me.
He includes it in his daily prayers. More than once John has said,
"Live in the moment." We are alive today -- talking, smiling,
laughing, traveling, exploring, dancing, joking, holding hands,
kissing and loving.
One day, as he did a two-step dance, he leaned over to kiss me. I
realized I love and respect this wonderful man, and he loves me. He
is able to appreciate his past and live in the present. How could I
not love such a vibrant, handsome, kind and intelligent man?
More important, how could I ever doubt his love for me?
A. Nancy Avakian lives in Rochester, N.Y. She is retired, having
served in senior administrative positions at several institutions of
higher education, including Virginia Commonwealth University.
From: A. Papazian