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The Eurovision Song Contest Is Starting - And For Once, Britain Is I

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  • The Eurovision Song Contest Is Starting - And For Once, Britain Is I

    THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST IS STARTING Â~@~S AND FOR ONCE, BRITAIN IS IN WITH A CHANCE

    The Spectator, UK
    May 4 2014

    Culture House Daily 14 comments Fraser Nelson 4 May 2014 20:27

    There are those to whom the word 'volare' means nothing. But for us
    Eurovision enthusiasts, it's all starting with the opening ceremony
    tonight. The entrants and their delegations of 37 nations have
    been converging on Copenhagen's City Hall, with fans are outside
    and the ceremony broadcast online. It's transmitting live in China,
    New Zealand and Canada this year - making Eurovision the most-watched
    non-sporting television event on the planet.

    The annual, spectacular clash of nations, cultures and politics is
    about to get underway - and it is also becoming a major betting event.

    A friend of mine in Sweden (where Eurovision is not seen as a massive
    gay pride festival) usually makes a killing getting it right. To do
    so requires pretty good knowledge of music, European politics, trends
    in trading relationships, and popular (as opposed to governmental)
    opinion. And, of course, to judge this better than bookmakers. This
    is getting harder, as bookies become more sophisticated.

    The two semi-finals are on Tuesday and Thursday, not that they
    matter to Britain. The BBC pays so much money to Eurovision that
    we're guaranteed a place in the final. This has made us lazy: the
    BBC's institutional snobbery and xenophobia has, hitherto, ensured
    the UK entry is so bad as to be an almost passive-aggressive insult
    to an entire continent. But this year, they worked out it's not a
    bad taste contest. They've found a singer-songwriter, who has come
    up with a varied-tempo, anthem-style number (Molly, with 'Children
    of the Universe'). It's a touch formulaic with poor choreography,
    but the BBC is, for once, making an effort. And she's actually in
    with a chance at 8/1. The others are below-

    1. Armenia - 13/8. Unlike the BBC, they have understood that the video
    makes a difference because so many voters make up their minds before
    the final. This tiny country is obviously out to win the whole ESC -
    the audacity of hope.

    2. Sweden - 11/4. A boringly safe option from Sweden - its
    'Melodifestivalen' primaries were not vintage this year, and they
    went for the kind of song that you hear played on Lugna Favoriter
    (its equivalent of Magic FM) all day. This is Sanna Neilsen's seventh
    attempt at Eurovision, and listening to this, you kinda see why her
    first six failed. Sweden produces the best pop in the world, and I'm
    afraid this isn't an example of it. Sounds like the boring bits from
    'Wrecking Ball'. That said, several bookies have Sanna as favourite to
    win - I'm biased against her as I was rooting for another (Ace Wilder)
    in MelFest this year.

    3. Denmark - 8/1 The hosts have laid on an upbeat number, with an
    easy-to-remember chorus that'll work across nations where English
    isn't widely understood. The Danes also understand the importance of
    choreography. Superb stage performance, and undeniably catchy tune.

    4. UK - 8/1 And here's our Molly. This video was filmed before
    she thought about choreography, and there's no Armenia-style video
    unpacking her theme. The BBC are still trying to get their heads
    around this. But Molly will pick up points for having written the
    song herself, and for being a debutante when so many of her rivals
    are established performers.

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    5. Norway - 10/1 Music to slit your wrists by

    AND SOME OTHERS...

    Austria. Now, this is great wee number. Melodic, well-produced,
    plenty drama. Bond-style major-minor combo chords. It's Conchita
    Wurst's second attempt at ESC - s/he finished second in the Austrian
    semis in 2012. You can imagine Shirley Bassey covering it well. Okay,
    it's sung by a drag queen - but as Dana International taught us,
    that's no bar to victory. His upsetting the Russians is a bonus. But
    might a bearded drag queen win? Anyway, the music:-

    Russia - 40/1 Russia has chosen two butter-wouldn't-melt twins,
    the Tolmachevy Sisters, to perform a number that is, if anything, a
    bit better than Sanna Neilsen's (they have the same light-on-a-string
    stage design). But for as long as Putin has his foot on the gas pipes
    he can expect nul points from the entire Eastern bloc.

    Poland - It's good of the Poles to enter - they haven't for three
    years, after getting bored of being knocked out in the semis. But
    this rather tawdry video has missed the mark (if, as I hope, it was
    shooting for ironic). It just looks like an advert for a weekend in
    WrocÅ~Baw, aimed at British stag parties.

    View videos of songs at
    http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/fraser-nelson/2014/05/the-eurovision-song-contest-is-starting-and-for-once-britain-is-in-with-a-chance/

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