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Opinion: A Traumatized But Resilient Community

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  • Opinion: A Traumatized But Resilient Community

    OPINION: A TRAUMATIZED BUT RESILIENT COMMUNITY

    MARY TATOSSIAN, SPECIAL TO MONTREAL GAZETTEMore from Mary Tatossian,
    Special to Montreal Gazette
    Published on: April 23, 2015
    Last Updated: April 23, 2015 2:17 PM EDT

    A woman holds a candle during a religious service at the cathedral
    in Etchmiadzin, outside Yerevan, on April 23, 2015, ahead of the
    canonization ceremony for the Martyrs of the Armenian Genocide.

    Armenians prepare to commemorate on April 24 a hundred years since 1.5
    million of their kin were massacred by Ottoman forces, as a fierce
    dispute still rages with Turkey over Ankara's refusal to recognize
    the mass murder as genocide.

    KAREN MINASYAN / AFP/Getty Images SHAREADJUSTCOMMENTPRINT

    Some of you who don't share my heritage may not realize just how
    close to home the atrocities you are hearing about, as we mark
    the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide, are for Armenian
    families in Montreal and around the world. The genocide has touched
    every Armenian one way or another. We have all lost someone. We've
    all heard the horror stories. The victims you are hearing about were
    real people. We have their photographs in our family albums.

    I'm proud to tell you about my great-uncle, Archbishop Nerses
    Tanielian. With his flaming red hair and long beard, he looked like
    the twin of my late brother Armand. I've been told he was a sight
    for sore eyes, riding confidently on his white horse, assuring the
    safe passage of women and children under attack by the Turks. And
    the reward for his bravery? He was captured, tortured and crucified,
    as a deterrent to others.

    Both of my maternal grandparents were genocide survivors.

    Sadly, my dad comes from a generation of men who were never open
    about their feelings, so I don't have all the details regarding his
    side of the family, but, I do know that they, too, were affected.

    It's a well-documented fact that war and genocide can have an impact on
    mental health. One study I read stated that "the prevalence of mental
    illness is associated with the degree of trauma, and the availability
    of physical and emotional support."

    Back in 1915, society was not into "emotional support." Talking about
    "your feelings" is a modern luxury, and it was the last thing on the
    minds of genocide survivors who, after all their trauma and suffering,
    then had to deal with the challenges of the Great Depression in
    the 1930s.

    Psychology is a fairly modern science, one that until the mid-1970s
    classified homosexuality as a mental disorder. They had no notion of
    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder a century ago. Back then, there were
    no antidepressants. So try to imagine how depression, night-terrors
    and so on were seen and treated.

    Imagine you are a child, and you witnessing your parents, the people
    you look up to most for protection, suffering from night terrors.

    Sudden screaming wakes you up in the middle of the night. Startled,
    you jump up and out of your bed. You run into your parents' bedroom
    for protection but instead, you find your father in his undershirt
    and boxers sitting at the edge of the bed, in a cold sweat, neck bent,
    looking down at his feet, trembling with fear. Your mom has her hand
    lovingly on his shoulder. You have no idea what's happening. Your
    father tilts his head back and sees you standing in the doorway.

    Afraid to look weak, he flinches his shoulder to get your mom's hand
    off and he screams at both you, to "get out!" of the room. Again,
    you just don't understand. Because you can't understand.

    Children seeing their parents suffer instinctively try to step up
    to protect the weaker parent and are forced to mature unnaturally
    fast, too heavy a burden for any small child's shoulders to bear. No
    child should be forced to endure such feelings of helplessness and
    inadequacy.

    Or imagine a child of a survivor watching dad drink his life away,
    just to forget, even for a moment, the horrors they've experienced
    and witnessed. My mom did. Or, imagine, coming home from school
    only to learn that your mom jumped off the building you call home
    because she could no longer take the pain. My dad did. Now imagine
    this on a much larger scale. Not just an isolated incident, but an
    emotional consequence suffered by an entire nation. Imagine growing up
    hearing all the stories and meeting other people of the same descent in
    different countries, with similar stories and experiences. Now imagine
    people telling you it never happened, saying it's all a big lie.

    I recently read an article by Lisa Katz suggesting a "psychological
    profile" for children of Holocaust survivors, and I believe the same
    conclusions can be applied to Armenians of the diaspora.

    While trauma can be transmitted across the generations, so can
    resilience. Traits like adaptability, initiative and tenacity that
    enabled people to survive the genocide may have been passed on to
    their children. Studies have shown that survivors and their children
    have a tendency to be task-oriented and hard workers. They also know
    how to cope with and adapt to challenges.

    Strong family values are another positive characteristic displayed
    by many survivors and their children. A polarization based on shared
    injuries exists in the community. On the one hand, there is shame over
    being a victim, and a need to keep defence mechanisms on active alert.

    On the other hand, there is a need for understanding and recognition.

    I wouldn't be who I am today if it were not for my brave ancestors. I
    am proud of my heritage! We are the sum of our past.

    Edmund Burke once said: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of
    evil is for good men to do nothing."

    Part of me, can't help but wonder, what if ... what if, at that time,
    the world had taken the time to listen to cries of the Armenian
    victims desperately pleading for mercy? What if the Turks had been
    firmly reprimanded for their heinous crimes, what would have happened?

    What if the U.S. Secretary of State did something upon receipt of
    the July 16, 1915 "confidential telegraph" sent by U.S. Ambassador to
    Turkey Henry Morgenthau? Nipping it in the bud before it had turned
    into a full-fledged genocide? If the Turks had been sternly punished
    at that time, would the Nazis have had the audacity to start their
    own mass extermination campaign? Would other, more recent genocides
    have taken place if measures had been taken in 1915?

    It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the best deterrent to
    crime is the certainty of punishment. Given that the actual aggressors
    are long dead, the time for punishment may have come and gone. But
    Turkey still needs to acknowledge the evil, premeditated deeds of
    its Ottoman forefathers.

    Throughout the years, politicians lobbying for votes from the Armenian
    community have promised that if elected they would help to have the
    1915 Armenian Genocide recognized. But once in power, time and again,
    each reneged. I never imagined this day would come.

    The genocide is increasingly being recognized, including by Pope
    Francis.

    I guess the genocide deniers weren't counting on our tenacity and
    our resilience.

    I am elated, and feel privileged to witness the beginning of our
    healing process as a people.

    Anything is possible. All you need is tenacity, and putting your
    minds together to work as one toward a common goal -- even if it
    takes 100 years.

    1915, Never Again!

    Mary Tatossian lives in Montreal.

    http://montrealgazette.com/news/world/opinion-a-traumatized-but-resilient-community

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