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  • Tinker Time Out

    TINKER TIME OUT
    By Chris Davis

    Memphis Flyer
    http://www.memphisflyer.com/memphis/Content? oid=oid%3A47041
    Aug 8 2008
    TN

    What's failed Congressional candidate Nikki Tinker going to do now that
    she's a two-time congressional-race loser with a national reputation
    for low-road politics?

    "I've just got to put my faith in God," Tinker told the restless
    gaggle of reporters that crowded around her when she finally arrived
    late to her own unhappy "victory" party at Ground Zero. She reminded
    the media that she was only 37 and that, if the Lord saw fit, Tinker
    time could come again.

    "I'm just a child of God," she said, echoing verbatim sentiments from
    her last, less devastating defeat at the hands of Congressman Steve
    Cohen in 2006. "You all know how strong my faith is."

    But God was nowhere to be found at this party. Even Morgan Freeman,
    the club's Tinker-supporting superstar owner, who played God in the
    film Bruce Almighty, was absent, having sustained serious injuries
    in a recent automobile accident near his home in Clarksdale, MS.

    It's tempting do describe the mood at Ground Zero as grim from the
    git-go. But it wasn't grim. It was much worse than that. The mood
    was nonexistent. For most of the evening there was no candidate in
    the house and not very many supporters waiting on her arrival. The
    blues band on stage played to a largely indifferent mix of confused
    tourists who'd stopped in for ribs and to sign Freeman's get-well
    banners and bored reporters with nothing to report.

    The club was minimally decorated with a few banks of balloons. A
    sparsely laid snack table went untouched until 9:40 p.m.,
    when speculators began to wonder if Tinker was going to be a
    no-show. Because she hadn't merely lost an election, she'd run a
    campaign based almost solely on race and religion (with surrogates
    adding homophobia to the list), and she had been definitively crushed
    by an opponent she'd attempted to bizarrely tar as both a Jewish
    anti-Christian and KKK-friendly.

    Throughout the evening, a small cluster of well-wishers like Judge
    D'Army Bailey (sipping chocolate martinis and talking about his book
    deal) and Pinnacle Airlines CEO Phil Trenary (describing himself as
    a "big Democrat") would cluster around a television on the Club's
    northeast wall to tut-tut over the returns.

    "It's a rout," one man of Armenian descent grumbled into his cell
    phone. "The race isn't even competitive." He was flanked by two
    other men of Armenian heritage who had thrown their support behind
    Tinker because Cohen, who has long criticized America's invasion of
    Iraq, refused to support a measure asking Turkey to acknowledge the
    Armenian genocide, as long as American troops depend on Turkish supply
    lines. Peter Musurlian, the West Coast filmmaker Cohen physically
    removed from his home during a Wednesday press conference was among
    them.

    "I filed charges against Cohen today," said Musurlian, who has also
    been identified as a "Republican operative" by the website MyDD.

    "He's not going to like my documentary very much," the filmmaker
    concluded, scratching his bald head and voicing his astonishment that
    Tinker could have been beaten so badly.

    In 48 hours, Tinker had gone from possible contender to national
    pariah. She was rebuked by Emily's List, the pro-female PAC that has
    supported her in both of her primary races, after a pair of race-
    and religion-baiting TV commercials attracted negative international
    attention and prompted MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann to name Tinker
    "The Worst Person in the World." Democratic presidential candidate
    Barack Obama expressed his displeasure Thursday morning and Tinker's
    friend and one-time employer, former Congressman Harold Ford Jr.,
    followed suit.

    It was nearly 10 p.m. when Tinker finally arrived. She made her
    way around the club, hugging the few necks that made themselves
    available. She supplied the media with a variety of faith-centric
    non-answers to questions and claimed no knowledge of Obama's comments
    on the race.

    Tinker's visit to her unhappy victory party was brief and
    uneventful. She didn't address the crowd and as soon as she walked
    out the door, an event that had never begun was definitively over.
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